Page 33 of Knocked up by the Mafia

Ivan fusses over my blankets. ‘You’re like a baby sister to me, and I know you’ve sacrificed a lot for this family. I just want to protect you.”

“Your protecting me is to keep me miserable and alone.” I remove my hand from his and lace my fingers together, resting my hands on my belly.

Ivan reaches out to stroke my face, but I pull away. “I love Daniel. I want to be with him. I want to raise our child together.”

“Natalia, the Quinns are the enemy of both mine and Alessandro’s families. We don’t know their true intention. Ronan is known for being a background player. He probably has this all planned out. You’re being used as a pawn. I know you can’t see it because you have this little crush….”

“I think I know what a crush is, Ivan, and this is more than a silly little crush. I’m not a teenager.”

“Natalia, you are not acting like yourself at all. Calm down, you’re unwell.” Ivan reaches for my face again, but I turn away from him.

“And how would you know how I am? I was gone for so many years. Receiving instructions and giving feedback through numerous connections. I’ve spent a lifetime training to serve a family that doesn’t even know what my favorite color is or what my favorite food is. Do you know those things?”

“You’re worried about whether I know your favorite color? And you don’t think that’s a bit irrational.” Ivan sighs. “Nat, I don’t want to fight with you. You’re still healing.”

“My favorite color matters because it’s a part of who I am. You know Evgenii’s favorite whiskey and Tori’s favorite gemstone.” I frown and look up at him. “I have done everything you have asked for since I was sixteen, and that still isn’t good enough for you to give me the one thing I ask for. My life is in danger, and Daniel is trying to sort that out. He’s done nothing but protect me.Hecame to save me, didn’t he?”

Ivan goes stiff, and I can tell his walls are up. “Drop it, Nat.”

“No, I love Daniel, and I don’t care if you accept it or not. I will try and see him.” I stare at him defiantly.

“I have a limit,” Ivan says, straightening his suit jacket. “Don’t cross it, or you and your little fling will regret it.”

He walks out, commanding the two guards outside not to let anyone in except him and our family. I watch him go, fuming that he is so stubborn.

He and I both know he is wrong, but he doesn’t want to back down. A leader never does. He has committed to this wholeheartedly, and I now need to consider if I’m ready to defy him and join the Quinns, turning my back on my Russian family. Or do I remain, knowing my place, and raise my child alone, turning my back on the first and only love I’ve ever experienced?

I feel the tears prick at my eyes, and I wipe at them furiously. I’m exhausted again and know I need to rest, but I’m hopeful Daniel will find a way around the guards to see me, so I fight to stay awake.

I can’t fight it for long, though. My lids flutter closed, and I doze, waking up periodically when nurses come in to check on me. None bring any secret letters from Daniel. I wonder where he is or if he got hurt rescuing me. I wonder if he’s angry with me and doesn’t want to see me again.

No, I know him.

Some doubt creeps in as I think of Ivan’s words. The world we live in is one of betrayal. As Ivan would say, we’re playing chess, not football, and it’s all about the bigger picture.

Is the bigger picture that Daniel is just using me to get to my family?

No, I know him.

I know people like him, like me. We don’t play by those deceptive rules. We’re the type to go in guns blazing and then ask anyone who survives our questions. Daniel wouldn’t have been the one they chose to deceive me if they wanted to get to my family.

I don’t think they would have chosen me as their target either. I’m not a relationship type; that’s why Ivan is so confused. There’s just something about Daniel; I see myself in him. Our worlds were married long before we met.

Evgenii sends word that I’m being discharged and that I’m told I need to rest. My brother comes to collect me personally, but I have nothing I want to say to him. They resigned themselves to the fact that I couldn’t love when I just chose not to.

I’ve since changed my mind.

Chapter 20 - Daniel

I sit at the bar sipping my whiskey, impatiently waiting for news about Natalia. Once I’d taken her to the hospital and Ivan had arrived, Ronan said it would be best for me to leave because my presence angered Ivan. If you asked me, Ronan’s presence angered the Russian Pakhan even more.

But I left Ronan to speak to him. Ivan will give Ronan a chance to talk. He’ll just try and have me killed, and then I’ll have to start a war between our families because I’d have to kill him.

I would if it wouldn’t hurt Nat. I know she disagrees with his choice to keep her from me, evident from the fact she tried to find me, but I know she loves him dearly, and if I hurt him, I don’t think she would be able to stomach looking at me.

I love her too much to see that hurt in her eyes—the heartbreak of the death of someone you hold close. I didn’t cry when my father died, but Ma’s death killed me. When she died, I stood at her funeral with little Jarryd in my arms, wondering what was wrong with the world. I promised myself then that I would never let anyone get close to me again because I felt so hollow, empty, and cold. I didn’t want to feel warm again because that could be taken away from me.

Jarryd pushes a bottle of whiskey toward me, and I realize I’ve been holding an empty glass for a few minutes now.

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