Page 19 of Forging Caine

“He’d like that.” To the left of the entry, a crowd clogged the living room. Sitting, standing, laughing. I glanced into the dining room, which was much the same, but with food covering the table. At the back, theWaterlilies-inspired painting Antonio had given them. A couple stood in front of it, pointing vaguely at the flowers in the bottom right.

Cass and I walked to the bright white kitchen, where it was no quieter than the foyer. Three more people sat around the breakfast table next to the open kitchen, another two in stools on the other side of the peninsula. The music was loud enough people could talk, but not easily. A muffled cheer erupted, no doubt from the man cave downstairs, where Kevin must have had a game on the giant television.

My sister pointed out the window over the sink, to the swing set where Antonio was pushing the little princess. Emma would be four in July. One year younger than I was when my father left. Antonio would be a better father than that. He’d be devoted. He’d never leave.

Dad hadn’t wanted to leave us, either.

Was that what I was doing every time I pulled Antonio into some crazy adventure? Was I forcing him into doing something dangerous that would cause me to lose him, too?

He’d been shot on one of those adventures. Let alone the other times he’d been shotat. I swallowed hard. I didn’t want to lose him. I wanted that future that was right in front of me. Little kid on a swing, watching him or her grow up.

“Wow.” Cass nudged me.

Right.Focus, Sam, you’re at a party. I took a slow sip of my wine. “Wow, what?”

She pursed her lips and looked pointedly at my wineglass. No—not my glass. At my left hand. “No new jewelry yet?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” I switched hands, cursing the skirt, which didn’t have pockets to shove my free hand into. “He only got home an hour ago.”

Cass returned her gaze out the back. “Did you completely freak out when he got home and you realized you’re now living with a man?”

Yes to the freak-out. No to Antonio being the reason. “Why have we never talked about Dad?”

She spluttered, covering her mouth to hold her wine in. “I always knew you were the queen of subject changes, but I was expecting one more like asking what was for dinner.”

I shrugged.

“You pregnant?”

“Speaking of subject changes.”

She reached for a napkin on the counter and patted her lips. “I had Mom for Logan’s pregnancy, but she was gone for Emma’s. Going through that without her…” She took another sip, and I half expected her to point out that I’d been on the road and hadn’t come home for the birth. “That pregnancy had me thinking about missing both of our parents. You know, wondering what kind of grandparents they would’ve been with a little girl.”

At least I’d have Cass if I ever went through that. “I’ve just got a lot going on that’s making me reconsider some things.”

She raised her glass toward the backyard, where Antonio was catching Emma at the bottom of the tiny slide. “Dad used to leave for business trips—at least, that’s what Mom used to call them—a week or two at a time. They seemed really happy together when he was home. I was twelve when he left for good, so I mostly thought they were gross, but it was a real shocker to me. Mom put on the brave face, like she always did, and said we’d manage.”

My mother had been such a strong woman. Had that been a good thing? How would my life have turned out if she’d opened up?

“Plus, we had to focus on you, especially after you ran away.”

I didn’t remember it, but apparently I’d taken a flashlight and provisions, intending to track my father down and bring him home. I was five. What was going through my head?

“Mom said you were just like him—out to save the world.”

My heart lurched. That was practically what Elliot had said.

She shrugged. “We never really talked about him after that.”

“You got angry over it a couple of times when you were in high school.”

“Yeah.” She smiled and waved absently to a woman who sat at the breakfast table with the others, sharing laughs and hugs all around. “Mostly because Mom never showed any emotion about it. I mean, your husband just up and leaves out of nowhere, when you’ve got two small kids and there’s no reaction?”

Her gaze rose to the ceiling and she blinked quickly. Exactly what I did when I didn’t want to cry. What if I told her the truth? Would it fix it? Make it worse?

I placed my hand on her back. “Sorry for bringing you down on your big night.”

Cass’s lips drew into a forced smile and she looked at me. “Don’t apologize for talking—”

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