Page 88 of Losing the Rhythm

Those thoughts calmed me and the panic that had been slowly ensnaring me disappeared.

I could breathe again.

Think clearly again.

“I’m free,” I said to myself. “I’m okay.”

I’d saved myself.

~*~

I strummed the guitar, letting the gentle notes wrap around my soul and give me the familiarity I so desperately craved at the moment.

The soft, warm notes promised comfort and love and I kept going, humming to myself. This wasn’t about creation or practicing or working. This was just about comfort, about soothing my soul, a companion at my side.

I smiled at the feel of the strings against my fingertips, at the way the guitar vibrated as it crooned to me in soft whispers.

It would be so easy to just stay here and keep doing this, but reality wouldn’t let me. I had responsibilities, people to face, life to live.

I wanted to stay here. So desperately.

The growing ache in my back warned me though. I needed to take some medicine now or I was really going to regret it once the pain flared up.

I climbed to my feet, having taken to sitting by the window on the floor instead of using the setup Seth made for me.

I was still by myself. A while ago, I thought I heard whispers by the door, but no one ever came inside.

They were giving me space, but I knew they were dying to know what happened. How did I tell them that I was mean? A true bitch.

I’d torn into my dad. Did the best that I could to make sure that I hurt him. And I did, so grandly that I was completely disgusted with myself. If he left now, I wouldn’t be surprised.

Slowly, I made my way back down stairs, listening for signs of life. There was a low murmur from the dining room, which was really Seth’s office since he used his table for all his books and work stuff.

Seth and Justin were the only ones there. Seth had his hand resting on Justin’s shoulder, looking like he was trying to comfort him. Justin’s expression was twisted into what looked like pain.

“Is everything okay?” I asked.

Both of them snapped their heads to look at me. Seth looked at Justin before focusing back on me. “Hungry?”

“That’s not an answer,” I pointed out.

“Answer isn’t mine to give out.” Seth jumped to his feet and disappeared into the kitchen.

I slowly approached Justin. He was still sitting, not looking at me. Without saying anything, I took the seat Seth vacated.

Justin was completely withdrawn. He looked pale too. And a little lost. Something wasn’t right and I wasn’t sure what to do about that.

“What happened?” I asked. “Anything I can help with?”

Justin finally met my eyes and I bit back a gasp. He was afraid. Justin was genuinely scared of something.

I sat up ramrod straight, almost afraid to breathe.

Justin blinked and some of that fear dissipated. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that?”

“Justin. What happened?”

He shook his head. “I’ll tell you later, when you don’t have so much of your own crap to deal with.”

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