Page 70 of Losing the Rhythm

“Paxon or Calvin never said?”

I shook my head. “I just knew you had a busy schedule.”

George seemed to look uncomfortable as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I guess that’s true. Sometimes I wonder if I’m too busy.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

George took his time taking another bite and I followed along. It really was good.

“Sometimes I think I put too much on Paxon,” he admitted. Then he gave me a sheepish smile.

“Paxon is a good guy.”

George’s eyes lit up. “I’m glad to hear that.”

“He wouldn’t be good if it weren’t for you.”

George chuckled. “Well, then I have no choice but to feel flattered. Thank you.”

My face felt hot and I looked away from him. I didn’t know how to act around the guy, but at least the feeling of needing to run away had finally gone. And he was right. Eating a non-greasy, light snack felt good on my stomach.

“Since you’re a dad, can I ask you something?”

Both his eyebrows rose. “As long as I don’t have to have the sex talk.”

My eyes bugged out and I practically choked on my spit.

George broke out laughing, shaking his head. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it. You looked too serious and while I don’t have a clear grasp of the mechanics of your friendship with the guys, I’m not stupid either. Just tell my son to keep it in his pants if he doesn’t want to wear a condom. I’m all for becoming a grandfather, but I’m still a bit too young for that.”

Pure mortification washed over me. Was I seriously having this conversation with Paxon’s dad of all people?

“Please stop,” I managed to say.

“So, not a sex talk?”

I shook my head furiously. If I wanted to talk about sex with someone, he’d be the last person I would go to. Then again, I wasn’t so sure I’d have anyone to go to for any kind of advice in that department. Not anyone I felt comfortable with.

If there had been a person, it would have been Micah’s mom, I guess. But considering I took her son’s virginity, no way was I going that route.

“Okay, lay it on me. What is this big mysterious question you want to ask that only a dad can answer?”

I swallowed and tried to become as brave as possible. I knew I was about to delve into something super personal to him.

Slowly, the question came out. The entire time, I kept my gaze on him, trying to be aware of any changes in his mood and expression. “I talked with Calvin. He told me about his mom. About how he lived with her for a while.”

George’s expression sobered and he sat up straighter, but he didn’t stop me. All that humor in his eyes bled away.

I licked my lips, trying to work around the lump in my throat. I played with my fingers, trying to use it as a way to distract me enough to ask. “Why did you let him stay with her? What made you decide that he should live with her instead of with you?”

The very question I wanted to ask my dad. Why did he abandon me? Why did he leave me with her? Why didn’t he fight harder for me?

“Calvin told you about his time with her?” George asked in a soft voice.

I looked down and nodded, feeling like I’d brought up something I shouldn’t have. “Paxon mentioned it a little bit too.”

George made a small grunting sound as he shifted in his seat. “It was a messy divorce. Really messy and really ugly. We both have good steady jobs. Neither of us showed any weaknesses. What it came down to was who did the children want to stay with. The state doesn’t choose based on a child’s opinion, but it also doesn’t mean it doesn’t matter at all. Paxon made it clear he wanted to live with me, and he was old enough to be vocal about it. I was able to work that into the custody agreement. But it was different for Calvin. He was too young. Ultimately, I lost the battle, and he went with his mother.”

“You fought for him.”

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