Page 35 of Losing the Rhythm

“How about that be your homework and when you figure it out, you tell me. Bye.” She hung up.

Like Amy said, I took a moment to breathe. Probably not what she meant, but I needed it anyway, drawing in air and slowly letting it out until all my bubbling emotions calmed down. Then I headed inside Seth’s house.

When I walked in, there was a chorus of groans from the living room. They were all gathered around the coffee table. Seth and Paxon were currently leaning toward each other.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

All the guys jumped back away from each other, giving me sheepish smiles while looking away.

“Now I’m really curious,” I said as I joined them. The table was completely covered in books, binders, and papers. “What is all this?”

“Some of it is my old notes,” Seth said. “The rest is their mess. What’s that?” He motioned to the reusable bag in my hand.

“Leftovers from Bayley. I’m pretty sure she sent over her entire kitchen.”

“Smells good,” Toby said.

Seth took the bag from me and looked inside. “Well, looks like we know what to eat after you all exhaust your brain power.” He disappeared into the kitchen.

I made a humming sound as I opened my bag and pulled out my own materials. “Were you guys coming up with a game plan for this study session?”

“Something like that,” Toby said and grinned at me, a weird mischief lighting his eyes. He was definitely up to something.

I eyed him warily. “Well, maybe we should do group studies for classes we’re all taking together and then move on to individual from there,” I said, already thinking through a plan of attack.

I was going to have a midterm for calculus, which I took with Bryan. There was also British literature with Paxon and Justin. Physics with Toby and Bryan. Mrs. Odera was going to give us a midterm project this coming week that we’d have to do by the end of the month. For now, I just needed to focus on three subjects. Calculus was going okay, and British literature was fine. Physics was a bit of a pain though.

“Let’s start with physics,” Toby said.

“Sure,” I said and made room for my stuff. When Seth came back, he helped clear out the materials we didn’t need and sorted through his own notes for useful ones he could share with us. He even kept his old exams.

Studying was easy when I was working with the others. But the moments when we were lost in our own study questions, trying to find an answer, the quiet got to me. Everything seemed amplified, the scratching of pen against paper, the shuffling of papers, clothes rustling as someone shifted around. It grew louder and louder.

No matter how hard I stared down at my worksheets, my focus wouldn’t go to it. I was just too aware of everything around. My chest ached, feeling like I completely forgot how to breathe. Maybe I did forget how to breathe. Maybe that was why I always woke up in the middle of the night gasping for air. Maybe I did die that night and I was in some weird afterlife.

“Cadence?” A hand landed on my shoulder.

I bit my tongue, nearly ready to scream as I jumped back. Air filled my lungs and I coughed.

“Holy shit. Why were you holding your breath?” Toby asked.

“W-what?” I blinked through the blurriness to find every single guy staring at me like I’d lost my head.

Maybe I did. I was tempted to reach up and check to make sure it was still there.

“You weren’t breathing,” Paxon said softly, frowning.

Everyone had some kind of expression of pity as they looked at me, and it suddenly felt too hot and stuffy in the room.

“Enough of this,” Toby finally said, making me jump again.

All the others glanced at him.

“Cadence is stressed, and it’s time we fix this,” he declared.

“Fix this?” I asked.

“Yes,” he said. “Fix this. You’ve been stuck since that happened to you, and we’re doing a shitty job of helping you get through it.”

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