Page 92 of Losing the Rhythm

“Bebe. I always wanted a dog before. Never had a chance. I’m glad I get to be so close to him. I know he isn’t my dog, but he makes things feel so right with the world. Like all the shit that has happened doesn’t matter as much when he’s there.”

Justin chuckled, shaking me a little. “Seth will be happy to know that. He feels the same.”

“Bebe’s a good dog. He just knows when he’s needed and he needs to feel needed.”

“I still remember when Seth got him. He actually came back with a black eye that day. Had it out with the owner, but managed to talk the owner into handing Bebe over.”

“Seth is…” I failed miserably to find the right word.

“I know. I feel the same. He’s a steady rock who’s willing to listen to all our bullshit, let us know it’s all bullshit, but still continue to let us talk about all our bullshit.”

I laughed at that, because he was right. Seth was a constant. I’d only known him for not even two months, and he had only ever been welcoming. It scared me. He felt like a forever to me. I wasn’t sure what I even meant by that, but he definitely felt like a forever.

“Ready to go back to sleep?”

“Depends, will you let me go so I can go back to my room?”

“No.” Justin wrapped his arms around me and held me even closer to him. “I…” He swallowed. “Please, stay with me?”

Justin’s simple question felt like a plea.

“Okay,” I said. “Okay, but at least let me go so I can make the rest of our night more comfortable?”

He looked like he even wanted to deny that, but eventually he released his hold on me. I got up slowly so I didn’t hurt him or trip clumsily over myself. I ran upstairs and swiped all the blankets and pillows I could. Justin remained quiet as he watched me work, building a makeshift bed on the floor big enough for the two of us.

Finally, I sat down and invited him to join me.

He still remained silent as I covered the both of us with a big soft blanket and lay down. As I was settling in, Justin pulled me into him, took in a deep breath, and closed his eyes.

I stared up at his profile for a long time, noting the way his long eyelashes curved. The shape of that mouth that I only got a taste of from his super brief kiss.

“Go to sleep,” he said.

“I’m trying.”

“Are you really?” He peeked at me through his eyelashes.

“Justin, why did you kiss me?”

His body stiffened against mine and it felt like he was about to pull away from me. I quickly hooked my leg over his waist to keep him with me. He stilled.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that to you.”

“I’m glad you did,” I admitted.

That seemed to take him by surprise.

My face lit on fire, but I knew I wanted to say this. He was going through something right now and he needed comfort. And I wanted to be truthful with him.

“I liked it. I like you. I’m not sure what I’m talking about or thinking about, but I know that I was glad you were open with me like that. I want to make sure there isn’t anything awkward or bad between us. I want you to know that I’m there for you.”

“And if I want to kiss you again?” he asked, his gaze dipping down to my lips.

Automatically, I licked my lips and leaned closer to him. “I wouldn’t push you away.”

Seth.

Shit.

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