Page 86 of Losing the Rhythm

I was a few minutes away from home when I had to pull to the side of the road. Then for ten minutes, commenced to throw up in the ditch. All of me felt cold and weak. I’d never felt as lost as I did at that moment. Nothing about what I’d done sat well with me. I was mean. Cruel. A total and complete bitch.

The sound of rocks crunching as a small truck pulled over instead of passing by set me on edge. I straightened, my bones aching from the movement after being hunched over for so long. I grabbed the keys in my pocket, ready to run as I eyed the truck that idled behind mine. A moment later, Roman Davies stepped out, frowning at me.

My skin prickled before I grew numb and stared at him as he slowly approached me. He took in my appearance as he cautiously came closer.

“Are you okay?” he asked as he stopped a few feet away from me, out of my reach.

“Why are you here?” I asked and glanced around. My home was less than a mile away at this point. And I knew for a fact he didn’t live in this area.

“I came to see you. Didn’t expect to see you parked on the side of the road.” Roman watched as a car sped by us. “Can we talk?”

“Sure, talk.” I crossed my arms over my chest. I was angry with my dad, but with Roman it was at a whole different level.

The ex-military man was a tall Black man, with broad shoulders, a dangerous dark gaze. The scar down his left cheek, stopping shy of his lips only made him more scarier than he was. I knew he was supposed to be one of the good guys. The Ryders actually feared him, and he had a big part in rounding them up. When I had been kidnapped, he was the one to cut me out of the chair and carry me out of that hellhole.

He was supposed to be a good guy. The hero.

But I couldn’t look at him anymore. Not after I learned that they used me as bait to round up the gang.

Roman was too good at hiding his thoughts. I needed to take lessons from him.

“Doesn’t matter where we talk. I came to apologize.”

“On behalf of the police department.”

I swore his lip twitched into an almost smile. “No. Your lawyer is doing a good job making them feel some pain. I’m here to apologize on my account and for what my team caused. How it all went down was never meant to happen. We were blindsided.”

I frowned, confusion crawling through me. “What are you talking about?”

“Team A got knocked out. Team B was too slow in going to your aid and you were taken. The police decided to use this opportunity to round them all up together after that. My men were ordered to just watch until we could raid them.”

I tried to understand it all. “So… if you weren’t ordered to wait, you would have been able to get me out of there sooner?”

“We would have been able to get you back before you even arrived.”

It felt like I’d been sucker punched. For a moment, breathing was impossible as my lungs felt like they were being squeezed.

“Seriously?”

“I am truly sorry, Cadence.” For all the hardassness that surrounded Roman, he did truly look apologetic. “I’m not saying this on behalf of the police force or anyone. I’m not saying this because we’re facing a lot of trouble. I’m genuinely sorry that you had to go through that. I’m sorry that my team was not able to protect you. That we were almost too late. That you had to go through something all by yourself like that. We were supposed to be there for you, and we failed. For that, I’m truly sorry.”

I wanted to throw up again. That was all I could think as he apologized. I wanted to hurl again, but my stomach was already empty.

Too much. This was too much. Between Dad and now Roman, this was all too much.

“That seems to be the theme,” I croaked out. “I don’t currently have it in me to say much else.”

Roman nodded. “I understand.”

“Do you?” I snapped out. “Do you really understand? I was chased through a parking lot. Shoved into a car. Tied up. Dragged through a house. Strapped to a chair. I had to stare down the dark hole of a gun. Listen to the bang of it going off, truly believing I was going to be shot. I was trapped there while you guys had your gunfight, wondering who was going to come down those stairs next, because if it hadn’t been you, it would have been Rick Cormack and I wouldn’t be standing here.” I drew in a breath, starting to feel too much like I was choking. “I’m not okay. I’m by far not okay.”

Nope. I couldn’t hold back. Before I knew it, I was kneeling, my hands digging into the earth as I went back to puking up my guts. Acidic bile rose, all that was left in my stomach to purge.

A large hand rubbed my back. “Take deep breaths.” Roman. Trying to comfort me. “Keep trying to take deep breaths. I need you to slow down your breathing before you pass out. Can you do that?”

I gasped, my breaths too sharp, each one stabbing me.

“If you pass out, I need to call an ambulance.”

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