Page 82 of Losing the Rhythm

Was that the incident she was referring to when she said I was causing rifts? Paxon pretty much did get into a fight with his teammate because of me. That only made me feel sicker. Paxon was a loved teammate. He was even their captain. And there I was, causing trouble between him and his teammates.

I didn’t want that either.

“I’m just voicing what others have been too scared to say to her,” Trinity said.

“And what exactly is that?” Hazel’s voice was ice as she spoke. It was a clear warning for Trinity to stop, but the girl didn’t take it.

“She’s so busy trying to whore herself out to them all that she’s causing trouble. Paxon got into a fight with his own teammate because of her. The soccer team will suffer because of it.”

“If the soccer team falls apart over Paxon having a female friend, then it’s weaker than I thought. And considering we’re on track to the championship, I very much doubt that.”

Trinity pressed her lips together.

“Go to class, Trinity. You already gained enough attention, and Principal Calgary won’t let this go so easily if she finds out you’re trying to bully Cadence.”

Hazel didn’t let Trinity say anything else as she pulled me away and we headed toward study hall together.

“With the way everyone is acting, you’d think the guys were princes and you were some peasant they found off the street,” Hazel said as we claimed a table to ourselves. “Trinity is friends with guys, and she doesn’t get shit for it.”

I mumbled some kind of agreement as I organized myself and created a plan of attack for homework. I needed to get as much done before school ended as possible since I was planning to meet with my dad, and there were some work projects I needed to wrap up.

“Cadence.” The way Hazel said my name, a bit louder, I looked up.

“What?” I asked.

Her frown deepened. For a moment, she looked around before leaning in closer to me. “Be careful, okay. I don’t want to see you hurt again.”

“Again?”

“I never want to see anyone hurt. And what’s happening to you is absolutely disgusting. I’m not sure how to stop it either. People who have never even so much as talked to any of those boys are taking part. I’ve tried to stop what I can, but…” She didn’t have to say much else about that. Apparently, this was far worse than I had imagined. A bit unbelievable too. “I know some of the crowds who’d be willing to take this much further. And I think the people who originally started this know that.”

“You mean students who’d intentionally hurt me?”

“Yes, the ones who wouldn’t care about taking you up on the offers written in those stalls.”

Bile tried to rise up. I didn’t want to think about it too much, but having Hazel talk about it made it all the more real. Sure, Bryan and Toby had plenty to say this morning about it, but she was more forward with it, more real. And hearing it from a girl made it worse.

Hazel reached over, resting her hand on my book to make sure she had my attention. “I’m on your side,” she said. “Lillian too. We’re doing what we can on our side. Keep those boys close to you. They’re the cause of the problem, so make them work for it.”

I gave her a small smile. “You’re probably the first one blaming them instead of me.”

She snorted. “If they had reacted better earlier, it wouldn’t have gotten like this. And that public apology didn’t help. It was sweet as heck and made all the girls jealous, but it only put a bigger target on you.”

I sighed and leaned forward, resting my head on the table. “This is just too surreal. I’ve been here for so long, keeping my head down. It’s our last frickin year here. Why is this even happening at this point? Why at all?”

“Well, you managed to insert yourself in with a semi-popular group of guys that no woman has been able to infiltrate. Like they have friends outside of their group, but it’s obvious that that small group is very tight and very closed off. Yet, suddenly you’re there, doing what so many others have failed to do.”

I snorted. “Stupid.”

Hazel nodded. “Not to sound like I’m bragging, but my sister and I lived in that popular world. Where people approach us for different reasons, and none of them for the best.” Her expression changed, turning more somber. “It’s not an easy place to be in when you have so many looking up to you, wanting to use you to make a name for themselves. It’s all very fake and the smallest mistake could be the end.”

“But it’s high school. It isn’t like what happens here is going to be what happens to us in college or even out in the real world. Not even close.”

“You know that,” she said. “I know that too. But not everyone has to experience the real world or worry about anything other than making their college application look good.”

There was so much more I wanted to say, but it wasn’t going to change anything. Hazel seemed just as stumped as I did. Someone had decided to make me a target, and they planned it rather well in terms of involving such a massive chunk of the school.

I was beginning to feel like I was a pebble in a roaring river and if things stayed like this, I was going to be swept away. I just wanted to finish off my senior year peacefully. But how? Staring at my notebook failed to give me an answer. All that happened was that the tight ball inside of me coiled tighter as my skin prickled with hyperawareness.

---