Page 24 of Losing the Rhythm

“It worked.”

“Picturing the crowd naked?”

I laughed. “No. The ridiculousness of the request worked. He’d tell me to picture them naked. I’d say that was silly and even laugh. And that little bit of distraction was enough. I’d calm down, and I’d perform, and I’d be successful. Don’t think so hard about it. Just do what you do best, and that’s bringing out people’s emotions. Usually, that’s laughter, but today, you’re going to show them a new side to you. And you’re going to rock it.”

The first bell rang and I stood up, grabbing my stuff. “I’m nervous too,” I admitted. “But I’m going to think about how ridiculous it is to imagine my classmates in their underwear, and it’ll distract me enough.” I leaned over and swiped the bag of Halloween treats he had.

“Hey!”

I waved it briefly before shoving into my bag. “I’ll give it to youafterour song. Think of it as a treat.”

“But… I need my sugar.”

“Try to survive until after. The sugar won’t help you.”

“You can’t eat any of them!”

I had to stop from rolling my eyes. “I have no interest in your candy corn.”

He crossed his arms over his chest. “There is absolutely nothing wrong with candy corn, Candy Corn.”

Toby remained pouting as Bryan and I headed to first period. I had no doubt he’d have another stash of candy, but I really did hope he’d wait until after our performance. All that sugar wasn’t going to help him calm down.

I ended up worrying about him throughout the morning rather than focusing on my own work. By the time music analysis class came around, I was more than ready for it to be over so that I could stop worrying about Toby. He had seemed so anxious.

“There you are.” Toby came into the room and claimed the seat next to mine.

“You look better.”

Toby chuckled. “Well, your advice gave me a lot to think about.” He was able to hold on to a straight face for only two seconds before he broke out laughing, shaking his head. “Definitely gave me a lot to think about.”

I smiled, happy with how much better he seemed.

“We got this for sure,” I said.

Mrs. Odera didn’t wait as soon as the bell rang. She just pointed at a student and the songs began. The longer we waited for our turn, the more antsy Toby became. His leg was shaking, he kept moving in his seat, and his poor pencil looked a bit chewed on.

By the time we were called, he was pallid, and even looked a little green.

“Are you going to throw up?” I whispered as we slowly set up.

Toby tested out his guitar, shaking his head. He swallowed hard before saying “No.”

I frowned, pretty sure he’d just swallowed his vomit.

He pretended to focus on his guitar, hitting a few strings. I stood by his side, resting my hand on his shoulder to give him courage. Slowly the tension in them loosened, but not enough to make me feel relaxed. I tried to hide my worry for him as we began.

“This song is about miscommunications. Missed opportunities,” Toby said in a thick voice.

“And hope,” I added at the last second.

Toby looked up at me, and I smiled. “Definitely has a little hope in there.”

Toby only looked away after he returned my smile and began strumming the beginning notes.

Then, I began our duet, making sure to project everything I had into the lyrics:

‘Strong hugs, deep laughs, a grin so bright, it blinded

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