Page 21 of Finding a Melody

That brought a silence over all of us as we tried to grasp that. It was painful to even think about. She fit so easily with us. She was one of us. It had only been a short time, but it also felt like an eternity, like our group didn’t really become anything until she was there. I hadn’t even realized how important she was until Bryan mentioned losing her.

That was inconceivable to me.

Paxon cleared his throat, pale-faced, as he said, “We can’t let that happen.” His voice was thick and he seemed to choke on the words.

“It won’t happen,” Seth said, stopping everyone before we all freaked out. I focused on him, trying to ignore the ache in my chest.

“How can you be so sure?” Bryan asked.

“She cares about us and she seems like the type to care deeply. She wouldn’t just end our friendship over something like this. We just need to give her space.”

“Did she say that? Did she say she cared?” Paxon asked. He looked at Seth pleadingly.

“We make her happy,” Seth said cautiously. “We’ve talked about it before.”

“She likes us?” Toby asked, sounding just as defenseless as Paxon.

“Of course, dumbass,” Bryan said. “She wouldn’t have bothered with us if she didn’t.”

Seth cleared his throat, and I noticed a kind of vulnerability in his eyes. He had something he wanted to ask us but was too scared.

Bryan was still talking with Toby when I interrupted.

“Shut up. Let Seth talk.”

Everyone finally noticed Seth still had more to talk about. He nodded at me in thanks. “I didn’t want to bring this up now. I wanted to wait a little longer, but since we just royally fucked up with Cadence, now is probably better. I need you to think about this carefully. Who is Cadence to you? How hard do you want to fight for her?”

“What do you mean?” Paxon asked.

“I mean, do we let her go? Do we talk to her? Try to get her to understand why Justin told us? Do you want to fight to keep her in our lives? Do you love her?”

“Love her?” Bryan asked, frowning as his confusion came out. “Isn’t that too soon to even think about? And weird? She’s our friend.”

But no one looked at him. I stared at my hands, remembering my time with her at the little beach I brought her to. About the things I told her and what she told me. I verified that her mother abused her and that this summer was the breaking point. She had almost died. We almost missed the chance to meet her.

That didn’t sit well with me.

And this feeling of desperation and need only got worse knowing that while we were having fun this summer, she was laid up in a hospital by herself, trying to heal from that attack, and deal with all that legal bullshit that seemed to hover over abused children, but only after it was too late.

Cadence almost died.

I gasped, whispering that over in my head again.

We almost lost the amazing opportunity to meet her, to get to know her. We almost lost her before we had a chance to even begin. I didn’t want to hold back until it was too late. That scared me more than anything. That we could be too late if we didn’t push forward. My life was already filled with too many too lates.

“Justin? Are you okay?” Seth asked.

I blinked through the mistiness building in my eyes. “When we talked and she told me her story, I told her mine too.” I paused, needing to swallow around the lump in my throat. “I never told you all of it, and I know you guys know it. But I told her. It was hard at first, telling her my story, but as I talked, it got easier. She made it easier.”

I stopped, needing to take a breath. Cadence was breaking down the walls I had built up years ago to protect my heart. And she did it so easily.

Did I love her? Yes. I did. And I hadn’t even realized it.

Paxon must have noticed what I didn’t say. He cleared his throat, still looking at me with an indescribable expression as he hid his own thoughts. Something challenging entered his eyes.

“I can’t let her go, not with how she is with Calvin,” he finally said.

“You can’t base your answer off of Calvin,” Seth was quick to say.

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