Page 59 of All the Discord

“I haven’t figured it out yet.”

“See!” He pointed at me. “I’m not the only one who doesn’t know what the hell they want to do with their lives.”

“You have less than four months to figure it out,” Paxon said. “So you can start applying.”

“Is it important to go to college?” I asked.

“Are you planning on doing what you do now?” Seth asked.

I shrugged. “Like I said, I hadn’t thought about it.” Hadn’t really had the time to do so, but I wasn’t going to tell them that. Still, the topic definitely gave me something to think about. “Are you guys going to try to go to the same college?”

“We’ll try, of course. I’d like to stay local,” Paxon said and glanced briefly at Calvin.

“My decision is also based on if I can get a swimming scholarship,” Justin said. “But I’d like to stick close by too.”

Everyone’s general response was that they wanted to go to school nearby. That didn’t leave a lot of options, but there were still some really good schools in the area, only a short drive away. Not far from here was what people called a college town. The two towns had four colleges spread out between them, two of them private, the other two SUNY schools.

“There’s always online too,” I said more to myself than anyone else.

That opened the discussion up to more options. Bryan had grown quiet as we kept talking about the nearby colleges and possibly being a remote student. The others seemed more hopeful with the options. And they liked the idea of staying together or at least closer together.

They didn’t want to be separated from each other, and from the looks of it, they were going to fight to do it too.

And they included me in the discussion, making me feel like I was part of the group. It was nice, even if I didn’t know what I was going to do once graduation came around.

But I was going to have to figure it out soon before I missed the opportunity. Applications were generally due in January and while that was months away, it felt too close too.

Chapter Twenty-Four

I made a breakfast burrito to eat while heading into school Monday morning. Yet every time I went to take a bite, my stomach twisted with nerves, reminding me of what today was. Music class presentations. The drive to school ended up being over before it even began, my thoughts so deeply focused on my performance. I pulled into the parking lot, spotting the boys standing around a truck, talking with each other. The spot was empty next to them, so I claimed it and climbed out, grabbing my bag from the back seat.

“Candy!” Toby said, coming over and drawing me into a hug. After an awkward long moment passed where I had to process that I was being given a hug, I patted his back. He pulled away with a grin before spotting the partially eaten breakfast burrito that was still in my hand. “What’s that? Breakfast? What did you make?”

“Breakfast burrito,” I said. “Eggs, bacon, and hash brown with a chipotle sauce.”

Toby kept eyeing the thing, practically drooling over it. I sighed and held it out. “Want the rest? I’m full.”

His eyes widened, eyes brightening even more. “Yes!” He swiped it, probably afraid I was going to change my mind. He took a huge bite, eating half of the thing. Groaning, he closed his eyes as he savored the food. “So good,” he said over a mouthful.

“Close your mouth,” Bryan said. “No one wants to see chewed food.”

Toby did the mature thing and stuck his tongue out with his mouth wide open at his friend, who cringed and looked away, trying to not gag. Bryan’s nose curled up as his eyebrows furrowed in complete disgust. I smiled as Toby continued to tease Bryan, while Paxon herded us into school.

Paxon fell into step with me and gave me his adorable soft smile. “Calvin is in love with the guitar. He hasn’t stopped playing it since you gave it to him. Dad was pretty happy to see him practicing too.”

“Good. He needs to practice as much as he can.”

“Can we swing by tomorrow so you can give him another lesson?”

I shook my head, disappointed. I would definitely rather be teaching Calvin to play the guitar than going to a meeting. “I have a meeting after school. But he can come by Thursday, after your game.”

“Great. Thank you so much for teaching him. And taking the time to talk to him. And being around him.”

I raised an eyebrow as Paxon tossed in a few more random thanks. He realized what he was doing and blushed as he ducked his head down and pulled on his beanie.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be,” I said, swiping his beanie and putting it on my head instead. “And no hiding from me.”