ALLY: Is that supposed to be a dirty metaphor? I’ve lost too many brain cells through breast feeding to understand it.
ME: No! He’s actually here.
ALLY: So I take it last night went well?
ME: Uh…
ALLY: Okay, wait, I’m just now noticing this is a new text thread with just you and me. On purpose?
ME: Yeah. I didn’t want to make anything weird for Jilly.
ALLY: OMG! Did y’all sleep together?
ME: NO!
ME: I mean we kissed at the bar, but that was all for show. All the fake dating stuff.
ALLY: You sure?
ME: Of course. I might not be very experienced, but I know enough to know that Finn is off the charts hot and I’m a lab rat.
ALLY: I don’t think Finn sees you as a lab rat.
ME: He sees me as his little sister’s friend.
ALLY: He doesn’t treat me the way he does you. Just saying.
ME: But you’ve always had Cooper.
ALLY: Ok. New angle. How do YOU feel about Finn?
ME: He’s great. So sweet.
ALLY: And you said off the charts hot.
ME: Well, I’m not blind, Ally! Declan is very attractive too.
ALLY: Some might say that Dec is the cuter of her brothers.
ME: And some people would be wrong.
ME: Wait, why are we even discussing this?
ALLY: Riddle me this… Why are you interested in the nerdy guy from your office?
ME: We make sense together. Similar interests and education.
ALLY: Is he attractive? To you? I mean are you attracted to him?
ME: Not particularly. But you know me. I seem to be missing that spark that other people have. I don’t just see an attractive man and immediately want to see him naked.
ALLY: Except for Finn.
ME: Right.
ME: Oh shit!
ALLY: