Page 12 of Built to Last

“There’s coffee made,” I tell her.

She hums to herself as she makes her breakfast and pours herself a mug of coffee.

“Those new Nutella, pretzel donuts are really good,” I tell her.

She looks up in surprise. “You haven’t been in the bakery in a while; how do you know that?”

“Sadie had some at the lab.”

“Ah, yes, your fake girlfriend,” she says with a chuckle. “How’s that going?”

I scrub a hand down my face.

“That good, huh? It’s sweet of you to offer,” Jilly says.

“It’s not fucking sweet, Jilly. I’m a selfish bastard,” I murmur.

“What are you even talking about?” she asks around a mouthful of grits. Then she moans. “Yes, baby was right, this is exactly what I wanted.”

“I’m in love with Sadie,” I blurt.

My sister’s eyes meet mine. “Still?”

“Are you telling me you didn’t know?”

“Well, I knew you liked her when we were younger. But nothing ever happened so I thought you got over it.” She takes another bite of her grits, then looks up at me. “I mean Levi mentions it periodically, and you have always been super nice to her. But love?”

“Yeah. Forever. She’s been it for me.” I stand to make myself a bowl of cereal, bringing everything over to the table.

Jillian stares at the box of cereal. “Lucky Charms? Really?”

I shrug. “What can I say. I like being an Irish stereotype.”

“Because being Finnegan Seamus O’Malley isn’t Irish enough for you?” she says in an exaggerated Irish accent.

“They’re magically delicious, Jill. I can’t help it.”

She laughs, then we eat in silence for a few moments. “Why have you never made a move?”

“Oh, I have. But she’s always blown it off. I think maybe I’ve been too subtle.” I shrug. “I don’t know, but she’s never taken me seriously. This seemed like the perfect opportunity to show her how good we could be together.”

Jilly chews thoughtfully for a minute, then starts to nod. “Makes sense. Sadie is sometimes too smart for her own good. But at the same time, she always expects to be in last place.”

“What do you mean?” I ask.

“She just wouldn’t ever expect for a guy like you to be into her. She doesn’t think she evokes strong emotions. She’s always joked and called herself a flatliner. Thinks she’s boring and unremarkable.”

I rub at a spot on my chest. “She thinks that about herself? Truly?”

“Yeah. We’ve all told her it isn’t true, but I think she’s interpreted stuff in life as proving her beliefs.”

The fact that she was still a virgin was probably one of the reasons. She, no doubt, thought that she wasn’t desirable. I’d be damned if I didn’t want to storm over to her house right now and prove her wrong. But clearly I needed to slow my roll and come up with an actual plan.

“For so long I kinda thought she was asexual. You know?” I shake my head. “She never seemed interested in anyone in a physical sense.”

“Well, you know her parents were super protective, and after I got pregnant with Ry, they didn’t want her hanging out with me. Like they thought my sexual activity was contagious.” Jilly rolls her eyes. “We had to meet secretly at the library. But I think me being a walking statistic for teenage sex scared her.”

I’m not disclosing any of Sadie’s secrets from the night before. If she hasn’t told my sister after this many years of friendship, then she has her reasons for being tight lipped.

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