Page 20 of Volatile

My gaze bore into the side of Aspen’s face, but he had his head firmly in the sand, almost defiant.

“I followed Aspen there,” I said, waiting for his reaction.

He might want me to not talk about the incident publicly, but we had to let Levi know what was going on, good or bad. He had to have our backs, and if Aspen was going to be back on his Lucy bullshit, Levi needed to know.

“Fuck. For her?” Levi glanced between us, and it was clear he wanted me to answer if Aspen didn’t.

“Does it matter? She’s not here, is she?”

“Of course it matters if you’re entertaining the idea of going back to your massively problematic ex in the middle of a PR crisis.”

“He’s not,” I said before Aspen could get a word in. “He wouldn’t really consider doing that when he’s sober.”

“Is that true?” Levi stared at Aspen, waiting for confirmation.

“Yes, it’s true. I’m staying away from the devil. It was a moment of weakness,” Aspen said, not making eye contact.

“Good,” Levi said, visibly relieved.

Everyone in the band had had enough of Lucy’s shit, and Aspen didn’t like that. We all judged him for going back to her as much as he had.

“Can I go to bed?” Aspen asked, still not making eye contact with either of us.

“Sure. I’m going to go make sure the police report gets buried and no one sells it to TMZ.” Levi huffed like he was looking for sympathy or something, but I had none. We paid him fifteen fucking percent to do this. He wasn’t doing anything more than his job.

“Thank you,” I said, giving him a big smile.

He rolled his eyes. “Sure, sure. You both sleep while I work my ass off for you.”

“Got to earn all that dough.” I crossed my arms over my chest, not taking any of his shit.

He held up his middle finger and walked out. I was sure he was on his way to figure out whose dick he had to suck to make sure the report wasn’t leaked. The cops were the worst people at leaking things to the press and it all depended on who he came up against and who was working.

I didn’t have the energy to worry about it. It would come out or it wouldn’t, and we’d deal with it. We’d weathered worse before, and I’d found over the last decade stressing wouldn’t change the outcome. We’d picked this life, and it came with a magnifying glass and a spotlight, and the better a band did, the more people wanted to tear them down. While Kingsley was learning to deal with his boyfriend’s manager, at least ours was on our side. I couldn’t imagine not having someone in that position we didn’t trust.

With Levi gone, I turned to find Aspen, but he’d slipped off.

“Fuck.”

He wouldn’t be in his room. He never slept alone. He couldn’t stand the risk of sleep paralysis or night terrors, and I didn’t blame him. I wouldn’t want to wake up in a different place every day to a thing you couldn’t control. For the longest time, it’d kept him from sleeping, and then I started not letting him leave my room at night and it got significantly better. Kingsley and I traded off staying in the room with him for years, which I didn’t mind. It made my life easier when I was in the prime of my rock star days, but when Kingsley got his boyfriend, Aspen returned. He’d been with me more than his brother for months, and to have it ripped away hit me in the chest. I hadn’t realized how attached I’d grown to his constant presence.

I wasn’t about to go wake up Kingsley to pick the fight I wanted to have with Aspen. I felt stupid for wanting him in my room. I wanted to make up another reason for it. Tell King to go spend the night on FaceTime with his boyfriend. I secretly loved when he asked me to be there so he could be with Lis, and the more involved he got in his relationship, the more time I got with Aspen. But I’d never admit it out loud.

I stepped out of the suite and nodded to the bodyguard keeping the floor secure. It was easier in some cities to keep our location a secret, but in places like Boston, it was too well known where we stayed, thus making it easy to find the band. We had to keep around-the-clock security at the location to keep it from turning into a mob scene. I walked down the vacant hall towards Kingsley’s suite to see if I could hear anything. I pressed my ear to the door and listened.

“Want me to open it for you?” Sebastian asked.

I hesitated.

What was wrong with me?

What was I even doing standing outside this fucking door? I wanted to rip it from its hinges and confront Aspen, but for what? He hadn’t done anything wrong. It was all me.

It was stupid anyway. What was this thing? It was a fucking skirt. Nothing more. I knew I wasn’t into... any of that.

“No, don’t bother,” I said when I found Sebastian still staring. I didn’t want him to read into this or get to gossiping with anyone.

Our lives were ruled by gossip and blind items, and the last thing I needed was more.

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