Page 81 of Volatile

“Really let yourself center in your body. I want you to feel your muscles and bones. Your heart and lungs. Where you meet the ground. Your connection with the earth.”

I tried to follow what she was saying, but every minute was painful. I was not cut out to sit still. Finally, when my lower back started to ache, I laid back on my mat, not even caring about the sand that tasted like frustration, and when I touched it, those feelings were transferred to me and I gagged.

I pushed it aside, trying to refocus on Kara’s voice. Rubbing my fingers over the mat made it easier to ground myself away from the sand. She told us to let thoughts flow through our brains without latching onto them.

I imagined them like clouds rolling across the sky.

“How did you guys like the class?” Kara asked when we handed back our mats.

Aspen glanced at me expectantly.

“It was fine.”

“Only fine?” Kara prompted. “Do you feel more relaxed?”

“Actually, I think I do. It wasn’t bad once I tried to relax more,” I said, not letting myself reject it because it was hard or because it wasn’t something I would have done in my previous life.

Doing this with Aspen had to change my perspective and not just with admitting I liked a guy and that made me bisexual, but also coming to terms with my other toxic habits.

“I’m so glad. You two should come to the sunrise meditation tomorrow.” She smiled, and I returned it.

“Who are you?” Aspen asked when we got out of earshot.

I glanced over at Aspen to find him smiling. “Did you like it?”

“I did, but I’m shocked you did.”

“I’m trying.” I slid my hand into his. “But now I need to be back in the pool with you.” Even in the shade, being outside for an hour had us both sweating.

“I saw one this way.” Aspen tugged me around a corner.

“I meant our pool...” I said, but he seemed so excited I kept following.

“We can do that later. It’s somewhere around here.”

We were far from the main resort building and most of the amenities. “Are you sure there is anything out here...” I trailed off when we came upon it.

The pool looked like it was out of a scene from Greek Mythology. Like Achilles and Patroclus would be lying beside it feeding each other grapes. It was mostly in shade, with only slivers of sunlight reaching the clear water. The edges of the clearing were overgrown and decorated with white statues, but none of it was as manicured as the rest of the property, giving it an ethereal feel.

Like it was a forgotten garden.

“Are you sure we can swim here? It almost looks like we found a secret or a forgotten place.”

“The water is crystal clear. It’s maintained.” Aspen stripped off his shorts and shirt, leaving himself in briefs.

I groaned, needing my hands on him. “I’m way too horny to do this for long.”

He smiled, dragging his teeth over his lip.

“I know the tree thing happened, but is this okay? I don’t want to be like—”

He cut me off. “It’s different with you. They feel good with you. Safe. You’ve always made me feel safe. I let you do things I wouldn’t let anyone else do.”

“Like what?” I asked, breath catching in my throat.

“We already fucked basically in public. This is more secluded.”

“I don’t want you to let me do anything. I want you to be into things, too, if we do them.” I took his hand off my dick and brought it to my lips to kiss his palm.

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