Page 61 of Pretty Black

“What does that mean?”

“Fuck me behind a tree?”

NINETEEN

PRESENT DAY

Iris Black

My mind stayed with Caspian when he left.

There’s no escape, there’s no surrender.

We go on blindly,

Fighting a silent war with our own minds.

I didn’t sleep. The dark transported me back to my brother’s death.

I wrote my feelings, filling half a notebook the second night.

“I’m sorry I missed your call,” I said out loud as if Marc could hear me or spent his time in the afterlife following me around. “I’m sorry. I was always missing your calls.”

Panic crawled up my throat like I could miss a call, even now.

Three Years Ago

July

I walked out of the venue bathroom in just a towel as everyone chattered in various states of undress about their plans for the night since we were in our hometown. “What’s that?”

They all quieted, listening.

“It sounds like a phone,” Lowe said, putting his hand to his ear.

The guys all pulled out theirs checking them.

I frowned, not sure where I’d put my phone. I didn’t think I’d taken it into the bathroom with me. I must have tossed it in my bag before I’d gone on stage. I found my bag and pulled clothes on before checking it. My brother. I hit redial, putting it to my ear while stepping back into the hallway for some quiet.

It went right to voicemail.

Weird.

Maybe he was trying to call me back.

When the voicemail played through, I left a message. “Hey, we still hanging out tonight? I don’t care if you have to sneak out. I want to see you.”

Then hung up and leaned against the wall, giving him a few minutes to call back.

Caspian poked his head out. “Everything okay?”

I smiled, adoring his sweaty, messy hair after he got offstage. “Yes.” I curled a finger at him. “Why are you so sexy?”

He glanced down the hall before slipping out of the room to invade my space, pressing me into the wall. “Happiness.”

“What do you mean?” I slid my hands into his back pockets.

“Happiness makes me sexy. It’s your fault.”

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