Page 35 of Pretty Black

“Massively. With all these wilderness camps and boarding schools rife with abuse, none of this shit has any regulations or even a requirement of licensed medical professionals to be working there. I could tell you horror stories.” Aspen’s eyes went dead as he spoke about it, and I could only imagine the demons he dealt with. I saw some of it after spending summers touring with his band. His brother took care of him a lot, much like I did Iris for a couple of years.

“Are hospitals any better?” I asked, wondering what exactly I’d subjected Iris to two years ago and again now.

“Some are better than others. It depends because, again, the regulations are so spotty. I’m hoping it’s better than what I dealt with forever ago.”

“I’m guessing I shouldn’t go on a googling or TikTok spree to look it up?”

“Not if you want to keep your sanity and not worry more than you have to.” Aspen took a sip of his drink.

I’d probably look later. Iris and I had never talked about his first stay, and I wouldn’t be able to shake the need to know the potential damage I’d done.

“Ari said we are all getting non-stop requests for comments on the statement,” Lowe said, flipping through his phone. “Lots of news orgs as well as rags.”

“Was the statement from the band not enough?” I asked, exasperated.

“Clearly not. They want to hear individual thoughts,” Lowe said, looking up. “I can’t decide if it’s a good idea.”

“Probably best to say as little as possible for Iris’ privacy and not to piss off Alexander until we at least get him off as proxy,” I said, glancing around the room to see if anyone else had an opinion.

“I’m going to ask Ari what he recommends.” Lowe followed my gaze. “Aspen, what would you have wanted said?”

Aspen hesitated. “As little as possible. It’s bad enough to be going through it at all, let alone with the entire world following the progress. It made me feel weak and less than.”

“Then I’m going to hold off until we can talk to him.” I hated trying to make decisions not knowing what he’d want.

“Does Mr. St. Clair have any idea when that will be?” Alister asked. “I hate that Iris is at Alexander’s mercy.”

“No. He said the judge might not hear anything else until the evaluation is in from the doctor,” I said solemnly.

“Fuck.” Lowe put his phone down. “What are we going to do if this turns into prison? I’m not kidding. We can’t just leave him in there.”

“You might not have a choice,” Aspen said. “Those doctors have a lot of authority, and since the court is involved…” He shook his head, visibly pulling into himself.

Kingsley sat next to his brother and wrapped an arm around him. “You don’t have to talk about it anymore if it’s triggering,” he said under his breath.

“It’s fine. I can handle it. I’m not the one in there.” Aspen laid his hand on Kingsley’s. “It’s just hard to go back to it when I’ve kept it buried so long.”

“I know.” They stayed like that, and it made me miss Iris more.

I’d taken it for granted on so many nights when he’d crawled into bed with me, and I’d missed it so profoundly when he’d stopped after his first admission.

ELEVEN

TWO YEARS AGO

Caspian Locke

It’s not a single match that created the forest fire of heartbreak.

It’s hundreds of careless sparks until we find ourselves in the middle of an inferno,

Leaving love unrecognizable,

Replaced with a barren, burning landscape.

Neither of us was left unscarred,

Unsure how we even got here.

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