Page 32 of Pretty Black

I laughed, feeling my cheeks heat.

“Maybe I just want a look at your record collection.” They were shoved into my tiny closet out of sight and out of mind so my stepfather didn’t throw them away.

“Somehow I doubt it.” I shook my head, putting my hand in his. “Where to?”

“Get lost with me?”

If he was lost, I never wanted to be found.

TEN

PRESENT DAY

Caspian Locke

“Are these blind items real?” Lowe sat in front of me while I read over the statement Ari had put together.

Ari had confessed he hated Alexander, and so did a lot of other people in the industry, but he was a bully and got his way, and it was basically impossible not to work with him.

“I don’t know.” I scrubbed a hand over my face. “Want to read this?”

“How bad was it last night?” Lowe asked, sliding my laptop in front of him.

“I can’t tell you.”

“It’s bad then.”

I wouldn’t meet his eyes.

“How did you get here? How did we all get here?” he whispered.

“I don’t know, but I’m doing my best to do right by him this time.”

Lowe read over the statement. “It was never drugs, was it?”

“No,” I said, not sure what I could say. But since the world was about to know Iris was struggling with his mental health, I thought Iris would be okay with me telling the band before the rest of the world knew. “I mean, yes, but addiction is a bandaid.”

“I guess that’s true for nearly everyone. It’s covering something else up.”

I nodded. “It is.”

“I should have known when Alexander started feeding him pills to function. None of us liked it. But what could we do? I feel like we all failed him.”

“We did. Maybe not River, but I know I did. I don’t know what else we could have done, though. We should have been able to trust Alexander.” I still had a bad taste in my mouth over what my trust in Alexander had done to Iris.

“Was he on top of a building last night?”

My eyes flickered to his, knowing the glance would betray me. “Can we change the subject? I know you and River and Alister are curious and will have lots of questions, but I have to do right by him, especially having fucked it up before. All of you can visit him and ask him questions yourself. Please don’t put me in that position.”

Lowe put a hand on my shoulder. “It’s good. You should let River read it before you release it.”

“He’s on his way over, and Alister will be here later. He’s flying in from New York.” I put my face in my hands.

“Are you okay?”

“Not even close. I know this time what he’s going through in there, and I hate myself for it. I hate that I contributed to this. I hate that he has to do it alone.”

Lowe rubbed his hand over my back. “He’s stronger than the rest of us. He shouldn’t have to get through it, but he will.”

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