How could he tell her that? How could he say that it was blind jealousy, ugliness in himself, not a lack of respect for her. It wasn’t because he thought that she was dirty or used goods or anything like that. It was just that...he hadn’t been able to stand the thought of another man putting his hands on her, and how the hell could he explain that without confessing...without confessing how much he wanted her? Without...
No. Hell no. And this was why.
He was shaking with his rage.
With his desire for her.
And this morning felt like a thousand years ago, and still, he felt that way.
“Fuck,”he said into the silence of the barn.
“So, things are going well then.”
He turned around and saw Hunter standing there.
“What the hell do you want?”
“I might be about to get up in your business,” he said.
Gus scowled. “Don’t do that.”
“Well, Gus, since a couple of months ago you were professionally up in mine when I was dealing with Elsie, it seems only fair.”
“Alaina and I are fine—leave it alone.”
“That’s why you’re standing in the barn swearing at nothing? Because I don’t think you’re doing slam poetry.”
He narrowed his eyes. “No. But I can be mad about other things.”
“Sure. But are you?”
“No.”
He didn’t owe Hunter honesty. He didn’t know why he was giving it to him, except that it was true. He had been up at Hunter’s grill the whole time the stuff with Elsie was going down. Because he had seen it as a potential thing to hurt Alaina, and it had upset him. Because Alaina had feelings for Hunter at the time and...
That pissed him off all over again.
“What’s up?” Hunter asked.
“It’s just complicated. Okay? That’s it.”
“If you can’t handle it you have to let her go.”
He practically snarled. “I don’t have to fucking let her go.”
“Why did you marry her, Gus?”
“To protect her,” he said, the lie so close to the edge of his lips that it was easy to spit out.
Lies.
Are you admitting it now? Why did you really marry her?
Why did you really need to marry her?
Make her yours the minute that it became clear you weren’t going to be able to hold on to her if you didn’t.
He gritted his teeth.