Page 60 of Among the Sins of my Father

“Enjoy this while you can, Father.” I spit out the word as an insult. “I won’t be here for long.”

“Still praying for your Priest to arrive? I hate to break it to you, my dear, but priests don’t ride white horses.”

“He got Hope back, didn’t he?”

My father snorts. “You think he did that? He did nothing but follow the line of crumbs Gorman lay for him. Of course, we only had to do that because of you. We had everything planned but then you got in the fucking way. Do you think your Priest would have even looked at you if you weren’t my daughter? You are nothing without me. It’s about time you realized that and showed some fucking gratitude.”

He reaches for me, but I jerk out of the way. “Don’t touch me!” I hiss.

“I’ll fucking touch you if I want to fucking touch you.” He lunges toward me, grabbing my arm and digging his fingers in painfully. “I’m going to teach you a lesson, show you what your life would look like if Michael hadn’t pleaded on your behalf. Maybe then you’ll realize how fucking grateful you should be.”

He starts to drag me from the room. I fight against him, trying to rip myself out of his grasp but he’s stronger than I thought.

“Don’t make me call the guards,” he growls when I flail against him. I ignore him and level a kick at his shin. He winces and bends over but doesn’t let go. Without warning, his elbow cracks against the side of my head. I see stars for a few moments, the world swaying before coming back into focus. I’d be on the ground if it weren’t for his grip on my arm.

“Don’t test me,” he warns. “I’m not Michael. I’m not swayed by tears in your fucking eyes. I’m your father. I’m not tempted by what’s between your legs.” He spits as he speaks, little globules of saliva hitting my face.

I start yelling as he grabs a fistful of my hair and yanks hard, demanding my obedience. I try fighting him. I try resisting as he pulls me outside. My bare feet scramble against the gravel, trying to find purchase. The bruises are soon joined by cuts and scrapes. My hands are held over my father’s, trying to relieve some of the pressure on my scalp.

Opening the car door, he tosses me inside. “Fucking stay!”

He slams the door shut before I can bar it. I fumble with the lock, trying to release it, but it won’t open. Clambering over to the other side, I try once again but it too won’t open. My father gets in the driver’s seat as I’m banging on the glass, desperate for someone to hear me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Mary wandering through the garden. She lifts her eyes, peering through the darkness only to smile faintly and wave when she sees my fear.

I guess I deserve it.

As the car starts to pull away, I feel the familiar tug of anxiety.

“No, no, no,” I chant. “Not now, not now.”

I brace myself for a flash, but it never comes. But the nausea in my gut does, the rapid beating of my heart does, and so does the panicked breathing.

“What’s wrong with you?” He glances at me, lying on the back seat, the palms of my hands pressed to my eyes.

“First, second, third, fourth, fifth. First, second, third, fourth, fifth.” I open my eyes.

“What’s fucking wrong with you?” The monster yells, spittle spraying the windscreen.

Even though my breath is still ragged and my heart is beating wildly, I heave myself forward, lunging at my father and wrapping my hands around his neck.

“You fucking little whore!” he splutters.

His elbow rams me in the face again. The force of it whips my head back but I keep my grip on his neck. I squeeze with all I’m worth as the car swerves over the road, controlled only by one hand of the monster. The other is tearing at my fingers, attempting to pry them from his neck. Then his elbow comes back again. I see it, but in order to avoid it, I’d have to let go.

He hits me in the jaw this time and the taste of blood fills my mouth. The pain is too much, and I’m forced to let go, falling back onto the seat.

“Stay there.” The monster curses as he rubs his neck.

Tears tighten the back of my throat, but I refuse to let them push to the surface. I close my eyes again, counting internally, attempting to calm myself. I stay like that as the car slows and I hear him talking to the guards. I stay like that until we pull to a stop. The door opens and the monster grabs a fistful of my hair again, dragging me out and onto the ground. He allows me enough time to get to my feet before pulling me inside.

He seems to know the guards. They greet him by name, some of them giving him a high-five as he passes, dragging me along behind. Some of them glance at me with an amused look in their eyes. Others ignore me. None of them care.

Metal clangs against metal as a guard opens one of the doors to a cell. I expect to be thrown inside, the door locked, and the key thrown away, but it’s my father who enters, yanking me behind him.

“That will be all.” He nods to the guard as he releases his grip on my hair. I fall to the ground and shuffle myself into the corner, as though somehow the concrete walls will protect me.

“We’re not supposed—”

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