Page 25 of Among the Sins of my Father

It’s as though a coil unwinds at his words and I gasp as the suddenness of a climax shudders through my body. Jericho thrusts one last time, then holds himself still as he pulses inside. His head drops to my shoulder. I let my legs fall from his hips and we stand, forehead pressed to forehead as the world and the room and the music materializes back into focus.

When he lets me go, I slide to the floor, curling into the fetal position and letting cathartic tears fall freely.

“He wouldn’t have felt any pain.” Jericho stands over me, his naked body on full display. “It was quick.”

A sob is wrenched from me as he walks away. Because it’s in that moment I realize I’ve fallen in love with my own monster.

I lie alone on the floor, memories ripping through my mind, jumbled and confused. Jericho, my father, my brothers, all dance around me, their movements distinctly different, until the image blurs; their bodies start to meld together until they merge into one monster with two heads. Each side of the monster mimics the other. They’re the same but one side is bathed in light and the other in darkness.

I close my eyes tight, willing the image away. It’s not a flash, it’s not a dream, it’s a curse. A spell that’s washed over me.

I don’t know how much time has passed when Jericho creeps back into the studio. I feel his steps reverberating through the floorboards rather than see him. I’m where he left me, curled into a ball, naked on the floor. He lowers himself behind me, dragging a blanket to cover us both and wraps his arm around my middle, pulling me close.

He doesn’t say anything as we fall asleep. He doesn’t need to. Everything he could say, everything I could say, is trapped in my head. But none of it matters.

I am his.

I will always be his.

Nothing will change that.

chapter ten

BERKLEY

It hasn’t stopped raining for three days. The world outside Jericho’s bedroom window is dark and dreary. The moon is hidden behind clouds. The branches of the trees sway in the wind. But the rain is so gentle it doesn’t make a sound as it falls against the glass.

Beside me, Jericho sleeps. He’s lying on his stomach, stretched over the mattress, and almost hugging the pillow. He hasn’t shaved in a few days, so his jaw is covered in dark stubble. He’s naked and the sheets are tugged low, so his tattoo is on full display. Even in sleep his brows are pulled into a frown.

I want to reach out and touch him, trace the lines of the swans in battle that grace his back, but I don’t want to wake him. He hasn’t had a lot of sleep lately, going to bed well after midnight and waking in the early hours of the morning. Then he locks himself away in his office, his raised and tense voice often slipping through the cracks of the door. So it’s good to see him resting. He almost looks peaceful. Almost.

Moving slowly, so as not to wake him, I creep out of bed and walk over to the window, grabbing my cardigan to wrap around my shoulders. Even though it’s not cold inside the room, it feels like it should be. I press my forehead to the glass and stare out one of the segments of stained glass. It turns everything blue.

I’ve kept myself locked away of late. I don’t want to see the hate reflected in Hope’s eyes. I don’t want to see the distrust in Gideon’s. Once again I’ve become the thing I fear the most. Nothing more than the daughter of a monster. All I want to do is hide. Or run away. Again.

There’s a part of me that tells me to creep silently out the door, leaving everyone and everything behind. I could start again. Just like I’ve done before. I could escape to a small town where no one knows my name. Or I could hide in a big city and blend in with the throng.

But when I think about leaving Jericho my heart twists violently. He is the only reason I haven’t gone. He’s the one thing I crave too much to abandon. He is my reward and my punishment.

I imagine him chasing after me, pursuing me to the corners of the Earth just to bring me back to him. Like he did for Hope. But that would be cruel to ask of him. I cannot ask him to abandon his life here, the life he’s built. Even if he built it for another woman.

My feelings for him are a double-edged sword. He’s everything I want. He’s everything I need. But he’s also everything I want to avoid. The threads of his life are too wrapped up in the parts of me I want to forget.

“What are you thinking about?” Jericho’s voice is low, scratched by the lingering need for sleep.

“I didn’t mean to wake you.”

He’s rolled over now, resting on his back with his hands propped behind his head. There’s a smattering of dark hair on his chest that fades, leaving the ribbed muscles of his stomach smooth. He’s undeniably gorgeous. Instantly a wave of need and longing crashes over me.

“Come back to bed.”

He pats the space beside him and I pad my way back, letting my cardigan fall and climb under the sheets. He lifts his arm over my shoulder allowing me to snuggle into his side and rest my head on his chest. His heart beats steadily as he pulls me close. I wish mine had the same rhythm. Instead, it rapidly rises and falls, leaving me exhausted by its unpredictability.

“What were you thinking about?” His lips are pressed to the top of my head as he speaks.

I give a small laugh as my hand travels across his chest, once again tracing the connection of the tattooed feathers. “Just my life. Being here. Everything.”

“This is your home now, Berkley. You belong with me.”

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