Page 50 of Daughter of a Monster

Walking over to the window, he stares out at the pond. With the light of the moon you can just make out the swans, their heads tucked beneath their wings, just circles of dark and light on the water.

“Was it him?” he asks, looking over at me hesitantly. “Was Jericho the reason you were out stalking the passageways in the middle of the night?”

I fold my arms over my chest. “Sort of.” I don’t want to tell him the truth. I don’t want him knowing his brother literally ran away from me and I was chasing him. It makes me sound pathetic. Maybe I am.

“You’ll have to excuse him. He’s got issues.”

I snort. “Funny. That’s exactly what he said about you.” Without intent, we fall into step, strolling from window to window, gazing out at the moonlit landscape. Every arched window frames a different picture, each one more haunting, more alluring and wistful than the previous. It’s like the world is unfolding, one scene at a time, each one teasing the next.

Plucking up the courage, I finally ask Gideon what I’ve been dying to know ever since that first night of dining with them.

“Is it true?” I glance at him quickly and then back out the window. “About your father?”

Gideon lets out a strange noise. I’m not sure if it’s a laugh or a groan, or the audible representation of an eye-roll.

“Our father was a drunk. He used to beat up our mother. A lot.” Gideon shakes his head. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” I ask, unaware I’d changed my expression.

“Like you feel sorry for me. Like you pity me.”

“You just told me your brother killed your father because he used to beat your mother. Of course I’m going to feel for you.”

“It’s not me you should feel sorry for. He was dead before I was old enough to truly know him. Jericho made sure of that.” There’s bitterness in his tone, as though he’s angry at Jericho for removing danger from their lives.

I swallow the knot of sadness at the back of my throat. “And your mother?”

“She took off. On my birthday, which also happened to be the anniversary of my father’s death, so yeah…” He raises an imaginary glass. “Happy birthday to me.”

“Wow.” I don’t know what else to say. He talks about it so openly, as though it’s common knowledge, as though everyone has a similar story in their past.

“I think that’s why he is like he is. He likes rules. He likes knowing what to expect. I guess he never knew what state our father was going to be in, so he made sure no one would have that problem in his life. He’s always the same. Always in control.”

The way he looked at me earlier comes to mind. He was torn, tormented, struggling with control. Maybe that’s why he ran away.

“I’ve been living in his shadow all my life. Our mother barely acknowledged me, not after what happened. I was always in the shadows. Even though Jericho was the one who stabbed the knife into him, it was like she blamed me. She’d just look at me and be reminded of him.”

“She loved him?”

He snorts. “Of course she fucking loved him. Just because someone hurts you, doesn’t make you stop loving them. Sometimes it makes you love them even more.”

I reach out and let my fingers rest on his arm. “I’m so sorry, Gideon.”

He flashes me a smile, but this time I see it for what it is. A mask to cover the pain. “Don’t worry. I’m used to it. He’ll always be the big brother and I’ll always be the little brother he’s trying to protect. People seem to adore him, even though he’s grumpier than a hippo out of water on a hot day.”

I laugh. “That sounds like something my dance instructor would say.”

“But they still love him.”

We stopped walking the moment I rested my hand on his arm, and now the touch between us is uncomfortable. But Gideon covers my fingers with his own so I can’t pull away.

“Take you, for example,” he says, his eyes fixed on where our fingers connect.

“Me? What do I have to do with anything?”

He glances up through thick eyelashes and, in that moment, with the moonlight streaming through the window behind him, he looks so much like Jericho it takes my breath away.

“I’m right here.” He lets go of my fingers and takes a step back. “But all you can see is him.”

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