Page 41 of Daughter of a Monster

“Yes, relieved. With all that you’ve faced, I thought the fact that I’m not hurting you, not making you do anything would please you.”

“But you assumed I’d be fine with being locked in a dark bunker?”

“It’s for your own safety.”

I can’t help but snort at that. He’s delusional. They all are.

The longer his hand stays on my knee, the heavier it feels. We’re both staring at it. As pale as his skin is, it’s nothing compared to mine, flesh which hasn’t seen the sun in years. That’s why that strip of sunshine meant so much. To feel daylight on my skin was heaven, even if it was only for a few seconds.

His thumb twitches. Then it starts to move, stroking the skin of my knee. It feels more violent and invasive than if he were trying to force himself on me. My breath gets caught in my throat, tightening my chest with each stroke of his thumb. His eyes flick up to mine as though he can sense my panic and he withdraws his hand.

I let out a low breath. “Why am I here?”

“I told you. You’re here for your own protection. I just want to look after you. Make sure you’re safe until . . .” he lets his voice fade.

“You should let me go,” I whisper. “I would be safe then.” I lift my chin. “I can look after myself.”

He makes a tutting sound and shakes his head. “I doubt that very much, Hope. Weren’t you looking after yourself when this whole ordeal started? Were you safe then?” He leans forward, his head only inches away from mine as he speaks. “I will keep you safe.” There’s the faintest linger of alcohol on his breath. “I will look after you and he will love me for it.”

“Love you?” I push myself away, pressing against the wall again. “I will never love you.”

He lunges at me, surprising me with his quickness. Scrambling across the bed, he cages me with an arm pressed to the wall either side of my head. “I never said you would love me,” he says. “I said he would. It’s the only way it can be.”

His voice is calm and collected as he speaks, but his body is trembling. Sweat prickles over my skin as he glares. His eyes are almost colorless. He stays like that for a while, the vibrations of his trembling body traveling through the mattress. Then he pulls himself away and slams the gate of the fence shut.

I scramble after him, knowing that he’s leaving for the day.

“Please leave the light on,” I say, as his fingers brush over the switch. My world plummets into darkness. “Please?” I beg.

There’s no reply. I wait, only the sound of his shallow breaths breaking the silence. He takes a step but I don’t know in which direction.

“Please,” I say again, fearing he’s heading for the door. I can’t spend days in darkness without any light. I can’t. It’s too consuming, too dominating. It’s hard to control my thoughts and my fears when it’s all that surrounds me.

“What will you give me in return?” There’s an edge to his voice that wasn’t there before. A cruelty.

My voice shakes as I answer. “What do you want?”

Lowering myself from the bed, I make my way to the wire. It only takes seven steps. I know. I’ve counted them. Three steps between the shelves and my bed. Nine steps from the back wall to the wire fence. One step between the end of my bed and the sink. Another to the toilet.

My hands hover over the fence until I find his fingers, gripped to the wire. I hook mine over them, not allowing myself to react to the shudder that runs over me.

“What do you want?” I try not to tremble as I lower my lips to his fingers, brushing them over his skin as I speak.

He laughs, but he doesn’t withdraw his fingers. “Kiss me, whore,” he orders, his voice now dark and cold.

The request for a kiss seems more repulsive than if he’d demanded I get on my knees and suck him. It’s more personal. More intimate.

“Kiss me,” he says again.

I explore the fence with my fingers until they find the diamond-shaped gap exposing his lips. He’s pushed the balaclava up to expose them. They are soft and slightly dry. His tongue darts out to run over them, stroking over the pad of one of my fingers. Even though it’s dark and I cannot see anything, I still close my eyes when I press my lips to his. He tastes faintly of whiskey. It’s hard to kiss him through the wire, but I do my best. I ignore the thud of my heart as it beats wildly. It’s strange how it has the same reaction to fear as it does to excitement.

He lets out a sigh when I pull away.

I swallow the taste of disgust. “Will you leave the light on now?”

His footsteps echo as they go up the steps. I bang against the wire.

“You said you’d leave the light on!” I yell after him.

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