Page 79 of Searching for Hope

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Sneak Peek

Among the Sins of my Father

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Among the Sins of my Father

chapter one

BERKLEY

Jericho holds Hope in his arms. I can see their reflection mirrored in the darkness of the car windows. His head is bent over her protectively as though shielding her from the world. She clutches him, her fingers and knuckles white, her head pressed to his chest. Naked.

Her body is frail, her hair is damp and sticks to the side of her face. She looks both filled with sadness and tremendous relief. They cling to each other, talking in low muted tones that fail to reach the front of the vehicle. There’s desperation and need in their connection. And even though I’ve lived with the knowledge for a while now, it’s the first time it truly hits me.

The man I love is loved by another.

He belongs to her.

She is his wife.

I am not.

My chest feels as though it’s being ripped open inch by inch. Slow and torturous. And I feel guilt. Guilt because she has done nothing wrong. Guilt because she has suffered in ways I can’t imagine. Guilt because most of that suffering was at the hand of my father. Guilt because she’s now safe.

And I despise her for it.

I fold over on myself as a wave of anxiety hits. It’s violent, this one. A small wail forces its way out of me as the flashes start.

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