Page 42 of Searching for Hope

“You’re being overly dramatic. It wasn’t as though these girls were ripped from warm loving homes. For a lot of them, coming to live with me would have been the best years of their lives. I treated them well. I gave them things, jewelry, dresses. They loved me and I loved them too.”

“Are you serious?”

“Yes,” he frowns. “I’m quite serious. Ask your mother. No matter what that woman says, she can’t deny we had some good times together, that I looked after her, treated her well. She was with me the longest. She was the one I loved the most.”

The wrinkles of the old man began to twist and change before my eyes, turning him back into the monster. “You disgust me.”

He snorts. “You’ve got a lot to learn, girl.”

“And I suppose it will take a good strong man to teach me?”

“Watch it. No need to get smart.”

“Even now, you still believe you have the power.”

“I hate to break it to you, darling, but we’re both prisoners.”

He has no idea what’s been happening beyond the four walls he’s trapped in. He thinks I’m a prisoner too. Jericho let him think that. I let him think that.

Getting to my feet, I shove the chair back against the wall with my foot. “Then how come I’m the one with the code to get out?”

I press the code into the keypad and walk out without looking back. After closing the door, I lean against it, trying to slow my racing heart. I squeeze my eyes shut and try to calm my breathing. I’ve had several episodes over the last couple of days. Avoiding Jericho increases them.

My footsteps echo as I walk down the narrow hallways, passing the line of doors and wondering why they were built in the first place. When I push through the door and back into the main part of the Sanctuary, Jericho is waiting for me. I catch him off guard. He’s leaning against the wall, arms and ankles crossed. He’s wearing a t-shirt and jeans, bare feet. I can’t help but notice the way his biceps bulge but I try to look away quickly. I still haven’t faced him. I’m still not ready.

“Berkley,” he says when I shut the door and gain his attention. He pulls himself off the wall, coming to stand in front of me. “I need to talk to you.”

I take a deep breath and ignore the twists in my stomach. “Then talk.”

“Come to my room.”

I just give him a blank stare.

“My office then?”

I don’t move.

“Okay. We’ll talk here.” He takes a deep breath, moving his head from side to side as though preparing for a fight. “Fuck.” He shakes his head and takes another breath. “I don’t know where to start.”

“How about the fact that you lied?”

“Technically I didn’t lie. You just assumed and I—”

I start walking away. Jericho grabs my arm, turning me back towards him. “Okay. I didn’t tell you. I lied. But I did it because…” He runs his hands through his hair. “I did it—”

“Because you wanted to fuck me and were afraid I might not like it if I found out I was to be the whore you cheated with while your wife is trapped in a basement somewhere?”

“She’s been missing for seven years!” He explodes.

“And that makes it okay?”

“In a way, yes.” He lets go of my arm, choosing instead to step closer to me.

I hate the closeness of him. I hate it because it makes me weak. It’s as though there’s another sense, not sight, not smell or taste, but something between us that my body responds to. It doesn’t care whether he’s married or not, whether he lied or not. It just wants him.

“I’ve got to go.” I turn away from him because if I don’t, I know I will succumb. And my mind is too fucked up for that right now.

“Please don’t,” he begs. “Just listen to me. Let me explain.”

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