Page 40 of Searching for Hope

“Go away.”

“We need to talk.”

The door flies open and a wild-eyed Berkley stands in the gap. Her eyes are a perfect storm. Blue crashes with gray and hints of black.

“Is it true?” she demands.

I’d tried to be honest with her. I’d told her everything. Everything apart from the thing which I knew would drive her away.

I dared to be happy, but I knew it wouldn’t last long. It was why I had that sick feeling in my gut ever since I took her in my arms. I knew it was wrong. But I did it anyway. I should have told her the truth, but how do you tell the woman you want so badly that you’re already married? I know what I did was wrong. I was weak.

“Let me explain.”

“Is. It. True?” There are already tears in her eyes. Ones that I put there.

“Yes. But—”

Her door slams.

“Berkley?” I knock gently. “Berkley, please just listen to me.” I wait, hoping she’ll open the door. “Berkley?”

But there’s nothing but silence.

Over the next few days, I try to explain but she merely stares at me blankly. She’s cold and distant, a bleak contrast of everything we shared during the brief time she was mine. I should have kept her locked in my room. I should have shielded her from the world, from the truth. I would do anything to take it all back. I would do anything to make her mine again. Things have changed so quickly between us. She used to be my captive and now she’s the one with all the control. I would do anything to have her again. I would fall at her feet. I would give her anything she desired.

But it’s not enough.

chapter fourteen

BERKLEY

There’s a section of one-way glass in the door to my father’s cell. It’s perfect eye height. I rest my head on the metal, watching my father. He’s sitting on the floor wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt. I’ve never seen him dressed so casually. He’s lost weight. His skin is saggy and wrinkled. He barely looks like the man he used to be.

In this moment, seeing him so small and so helpless, it seems impossible that he could be a monster. Whatever strength and power he used to exude is gone.

He’s feeble.

He’s trapped.

He’s alone.

It’s a simple four-digit code to open the door. I was surprised when Jericho gave it to me. I could set him free. I think it was meant as some sort of apology, the code. I think it was a way of letting me know how much he trusts me. But after what Gideon said, I am the one who can’t trust him.

I was so foolish. So stupid. How could I not see it?

Hope and Jericho are married.

She is his wife.

He is her husband.

Ette is his stepdaughter.

Or maybe his daughter.

I don’t know what to believe anymore.

I couldn’t face anyone, so I hid in my room. There, I went from feeling stupid and foolish to being filled with rage that he hid it, that he put me in this situation. I’d opened myself up to him, told him things I’d never told another soul and he threw it back in my face. And then I told myself it had been years. He probably wasn’t even married to her anymore.

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