Page 22 of Searching for Hope

“It wasn’t like that,” she says, her voice quivering.

“It wasn’t? Explain to me what it was like then. Explain how you left me to spend the night with another man, even though I warned you not to.” I’m playing a dangerous game. None of this is her fault. She is in no way to blame for the frailty of my own ego. But I can’t seem to stop. The need to push her away clashes with my desire. It’s a battle. And I don’t know which part of me will win.

Her mouth falls open and anger flashes through her eyes, but she doesn’t say anything. She probably doesn’t know what to say. I’m desperate. The pain of denial from being around her is too much. I need to send her away before I fail. I need to resist her before I—

It’s too late.

Storming across the floor, I stalk over to her, backing her against the wall while drowning in waves of confusion. She stares up at me with those eyes. Those eyes that make me weak. Those eyes that scatter my thoughts and make me ignore every ounce of sense within my body.

Without thought, my fist crashes into the wall beside her. She flinches and I immediately regret my actions. But maybe it will make her understand.

She needs to stay away from me.

I am no good for her.

But she doesn’t. She just looks up at me with those unblinking eyes and says, “When are you going to stop punishing yourself?”

Her words hit me harder than any physical blow. I shake my head, trying to get rid of them. “What do you mean?”

“It isn’t your fault that Hope is gone. You’re not to blame.”

I want to storm away from her. I want to deny everything she’s saying. But I stay, towering over this girl who’s looking up at me with such… such kindness. Such tenderness. No one has looked at me like that. Ever.

All the anger leaves my body. My gaze drops to the floor.

“But it was.” The words are so quiet they can barely be heard over the sound of the rain.

Reaching up, Berkley takes my cheeks between her hands, forcing me to look at her. “It is not your fault.”

The tightness in my chest moves and lodges itself in my throat. I try to look away, place my gaze on anything but her eyes, but she jerks my face back to her.

“It’s not your fault.”

Everything fades. I have two options. Crush the emotions coursing through my body or allow myself to find solace in the thing I desire the most.

One would bring me pain.

One would bring me comfort.

Her hands still clutch my face. Her eyes still bore into mine. I treated her with frustration and annoyance, attempting to deny everything I was feeling, but she saw it for what it was. A cry for help.

My gaze slips to her mouth. All I want is to taste her, to drown in her. Lowering my head slowly, I inch closer to her mouth, allowing her all the time in the world to stop me.

But she doesn’t.

chapter nine

BERKLEY

He runs the tip of his nose down the bridge of mine, his lips hovering, teasing. His dark eyes keep flicking to mine as though he expects me to protest.

But I won’t.

I don’t want to.

His bottom lip catches on mine, toying with my desire. Any time we’ve touched before it’s been frantic and feverish, but now, here, there’s almost a hesitation to his actions. His hands thread into my hair, directing the angle of my face. His breath dances over my skin. Moving my hands, I slide them around the back of his neck so I can pull him closer and lift to my tiptoes.

Then our mouths collide.

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