Page 73 of Say You Love Me

“I’m not saying anything. Not yet. I was just wondering how people would react. Do you think his parents would understand? Do you think they’d look at you any differently, knowing that you allowed him to farm you out to other men?” His voice has taken on a low and menacing tone. I try to pull away from him but he holds me firm.

“He doesn’t farm me out to other men, Rylee. You’re the only one. You’re the only other person I’ve been with since I met him.”

“So I’m special, am I?”

I swallow, wary of the detached inflection to his voice. Nervousness floats in my stomach. “Of course you are.”

“So that’s why you wanted me to leave, why you don’t want me around anymore? Because I’m special.”

“It’s not that we don’t—”

“We? I don’t care about we, Finity. I care about you. I want you.”

His grip around my wrist tightens to the point of pain.

“Rylee, please. You’re hurting me.” I twist and turn, trying to escape him but he’s stronger than he looks.

“Oh, so when he does it, it’s fine, but when I do it, it’s unwanted? I thought you liked pain, Finity? I thought your body craved it.” He steps closer and blood rushes through me, pounding against my skull. “I wonder what Hudson’s employers would think of our little arrangement. Do you think they’d be fine with their CEO having a threesome with his wife and another man? Because that’s what happened. No matter how Hudson frames it—” he says Hudson’s name as though it is poison “—that’s what happened between us. We shared you. We both had you. Both of us were—”

“Stop,” I plead. “You’re scaring me.” My heart is beating erratically. My eyes scan the dock, looking for something, anything to ward him off. There’s a loose plank of wood a little further away but I don’t think I can reach it.

“I’m scaring you? Me? Not the man who gripped your chin between his fingers and demanded that you look at him?” He mimics Hudson’s actions from earlier, his fingers digging into the flesh of my chin viciously. “You know I could destroy you, don’t you? I could ruin your husband, make him regret ever sharing you with me. Unless…” He raises his brows.

“You won’t do it. You wouldn’t do that to me. You can’t do that to Hudson.”

A sinister smile creeps over his face. “Can’t I?”

chapter thirty-four

THEN

~

FINITY

The walls of my room are pale pink. They say it’s supposed to be a calming color. But it’s not. It reminds me of wrinkled toes and pudgy hands. It reminds me of garbled squeals and excited smiles. Of tears and screams. Of silence.

I close my eyes and draw in a deep breath. I’ve been here for almost a week now, or at least, that’s what they tell me. I expected them to demand things of me, but instead, they’ve just let me lie in my room, only venturing out when the gurgle of my stomach demands it. My mind has been numb. No thoughts penetrate the emptiness. Hours pass like minutes and seconds seem like an eternity. Even though I’ve been here days, it could be years.

But today I decide to venture outdoors. I wrap myself tightly in my cardigan, not caring that my hair is a mess or that I’ve got different colored socks on or that my eyes are marked with dark stains. I wander through the corridors, staring at everything as though seeing it for the first time. And I guess in a way, I am.

I wasn’t present when Lori dropped me off. At least, not mentally. I know she held my hand as they gave us a tour, but I remember nothing but the pressure of her fingers. She hugged me tightly when she left. I knew enough that I should thank her, show appreciation for the kindness she was showing me despite what I’d done, but no words came. Nothing came. Not even a tight smile. She wrapped her arms around me, held me close and whispered words I didn’t hear into my ear. Later, I imagined she told me Hudson still loved me, that he missed me, he cared for me. But that may have just been wishful thinking.

Indoors, the temperature is stifling. It’s the sort of heat that makes it hard to breathe, the sort of heat that leaves your clothes sticking to your body. And the smell of the place is sharp and medicinal, like a hospital. My pace picks up when I see the doors to the garden. My steps quicken, eager to be outside and breathe in the fresh air.

I push open the door and stand in a patch of sun, folding my arms across my chest and lifting my eyes to the sky. I inhale and exhale slowly, relishing the chilly bite to the air.

“You new here?”

I look around, searching for the owner of the voice. A boy is sitting on a bench among the roses. He looks out of place. Like a weed in a perfectly groomed garden. I glance behind me, sure he must be talking to someone else, but the boy gets to his feet and walks over to me, holding out his hand.

“I’m Rylee,” he says.

I shake his hand cautiously, using my other hand to shield my eyes from the glint of the sun. “Finity.”

He frowns. “Finity?”

I nod.

---