Page 56 of Say You Love Me

“Calla’s crying,” I say as though she can’t hear.

“She’ll be fine. She’ll go back to sleep.” Her voice wobbles with tears. Her hand jerks away from my grip suddenly and she grabs hold of me, wrapping her fingers around my cock. She groans when she realizes how hard I am, pushing her breasts against my back, and grinding into me wantonly.

“For fuck’s sake, Finity!” I turn over and push her away. “Your daughter is crying.”

Even in the darkness, I can see the mixture of hurt and frustration in her eyes. She blinks once, pushing away the tears and then sits on the edge of the mattress, reaching out to grab her bathrobe and pull it around her shoulders.

I fall asleep before she comes back.

chapter twenty-five

NOW

~

FINITY

I’m bent over the garden, tugging out weeds with the music playing loudly. Life is almost perfect. My husband kisses me when he wakes in the morning. He talks to me, calls me from work to ask how my day is going. He holds me against him when we snuggle on the couch and asks me to tell him things he doesn’t know. He lets me kiss him, pleasure him, but he still won’t fuck me.

Rylee texts me daily, but as guilty as I feel, I have no need for him. Hudson hasn’t mentioned him since that night we spent together. And when we woke the next morning Rylee was gone.

Gardening has become my solace. It’s how I spend my time since I still cannot get a job in this god-forsaken town. I’ve had the odd interview, but it’s always been awkward and strained, as though they’ve called me in for no other reason than to see me. The girl who lost everything.

But my life is coming back. Everything is falling into place. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel and I’m racing toward it without hesitation. My only hope is that it’s not a train that will shatter my life into a tiny million pieces again.

It’s summer now so the sun is high in the sky. I can feel the burn of it across my shoulders and the backs of my legs, but I’ve only got one small patch of garden left, so I persist. The music is loud; I guess that’s why I don’t hear the swing of the gate as it opens. I jump when I hear his voice.

“Why aren’t you returning my messages?”

Rylee stands behind me, arms crossed and leaning against the post holding up the washing line. There are dark marks under his eyes as though he hasn’t slept in weeks. His clothes are crumpled and disheveled. His gaze runs over me hungrily and I suddenly feel as though I’m wearing too little clothing.

“Rylee.” I get to my feet, wiping the sweat off my brow with the back of my wrist since my hands are covered in dirt. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“You haven’t returned my messages or calls for weeks.”

I laugh nervously. “It was only a couple of weeks ago that I saw you.”

“And you remember that?” He takes a step toward me. “You remember what happened that night?”

I laugh again but it is high-pitched and strained. “Of course I do. I wasn’t the one who passed out on the chair.”

Rylee takes another two steps forward. “Is Hudson here?”

I shake my head.

“So we’re alone?”

“He’ll be home soon.” I wipe my hands together, brushing off the dirt. “Why don’t we go inside?”

“Finity…” Rylee reaches for my hand, but I shy away. He snorts, grabs my upper arm and tugs me close. When he talks it’s hot and harsh against my ear. “So I can put my fingers inside you when he’s here but I’m not even allowed to touch you when he’s not?”

“It’s not like that.” I try to pull away but he keeps a tight grip.

Rylee looks straight at me when he speaks. “Well, tell me what it’s like then?” He rubs his thumb over the sensitive skin on the underside of my arm. “Why does he let me touch you? Why does he like to watch? If you were mine, Finity, I would never let another man near you. You’d be mine. Only mine. Selfishly, fully and entirely mine.”

I jerk away from him. “But I’m not yours, Rylee. I’m his. I’ll always be his.”

I’m trembling as I walk back to the house. Relief washes over me when I hear the rumble of Hudson’s car pull up outside the house. I’m there to greet him as soon as the door opens. I grab his face and kiss him passionately, knowing that Rylee is watching.

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