Page 94 of Make Me Scream

“He doesn’t know that.”

“You’re famous! No one outside of the art world has ever heard of him!”

“I don’t care about that.”

I’m running out of breath, but I keep chasing.

“You’re letting him live rent-free in your head!” I say. “Wouldn’t it piss him off knowing you don’t care about him anymore?”

“He wouldn’t believe it. He knows I care.”

“Okay, but you could stop for my sake!

“Gwen, he threatened to destroy your life if you didn’t do what he wants, and you’re not the first. How many people will he hurt if no one exposes him?”

“You’re not doing this for them!”

He stops and turns to me.

“Yes I am! You didn’t hear the way he talked about you. You didn’t hear the contempt he has for artists like us. Iamdoing this for both of us, and for everyone else who will come to this school with a vision for something different.”

“Lane, it’s his academy! I don’t like what he’s done but it is his school. Why don’t you start your own? You have the money. Wouldn’t that be even better? Beating Mundell at his own game?”

He laughs, a dark, mocking grunt.

“You think it’s that easy to just start your own school?”

Embarrassment and rage reddens my cheeks.

“I didn’t say that.”

“Yes, you did. It’s a nice idea, Gwen, but it’s a fantasy. It’s not gonna happen. But I will drag Mundell’s name through the mud and maybe when it’s dirty enough, we can be the one to clean off his school and make it beautiful again.”

I shake my head.

“I won’t be a part of that. I could lose everything.”

Lane nods.

“I understand, Gwen. Good luck.”

He walks away, and this time I don’t follow.

—

Five days go by in a tear-streaked blur. I take on extra shifts at Cafe Vitolo until they hire someone to fill in for Joel. The distraction doesn’t hurt, and neither does the extra cash. When not working, I join Martin in doing everything we can to support Joel: cook meals, clean the apartment, run to the store for art supplies and anything else. They know it’s unusual for me to always be home instead of out with Lane, and offer to help me if I need it, which I appreciate.

When I have no chores to do and Joel’s asleep or with Martin, I work on myBloody Bridegraphic novel. Scenes come to me while I work, so when I have time for drawing and writing I have plenty of inspiration.

More often than I’d like, my thoughts drift from Gwen Carpenter’s novels to Enmity Jane’s performances. I put them down in a notebook hoping that’ll make them go away for the time being, but it’s no use. Jane doesn’t want to wait, she wants to be seen and heard.

I can’t afford to lose my scholarship,I tell her.

Lane will pay for you to go somewhere else,she argues.Then you won’t have to worry about Professor Mundell.

I haven’t heard from Lane, and while I assume he’d keep his word and pay my tuition if I asked, I meant what I said about not wanting to be in his debt. That’s true now more than ever.

When I finally bring up the situation with Joel, he’s heard about Anne Nichols — there’s a plaque dedicated to her memory at the school. As soon as he mentions it, I remember seeing it too. It features a photo of her and one of her pieces, a beautiful but frightening depiction of the Parisian barricades during the French Revolution. She was pretty, and her talent really was extraordinary.

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