Page 25 of Tears and Other Fears

“You think you’re so much better—”

“I know I’m better. You’re a fucking murderer that hides behind his friends, his daddy’s wallet, and his drugs. You killed my brother, and youwillpay for it.” I looked over Samuel’s shoulder and felt a sickening sense of betrayal fall over me as I watched a sleepy Young creep closer. He was wearing nothing but low hanging sweats and a confused expression. His delicious abs made me want to forget the searing pain wrecking my chest.

Samuel rolled his eyes. “Nathaniel is too much of a coward. He’ll never say anything or do anything. It’s just who he is.”

“You killed his boyfriend,” I stuttered, baiting him. “You’ve used him…”

“Nathaniel likes being used. It’s why he dated William. It’s why he chases your crazy ass around, and it’s also why he won’t say a damn word to me. I could have shot William in cold blood, and Nathaniel would still be too much of a pussy to say shit.”

My eyes flickered to Young once more. Bingo, motherfucker. Young looked so full of rage that I wanted to hate fuck him into eternity.

Okay, so I never pretended to be normal.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Young said darkly before lunging for Samuel. They slammed onto the floor and rolled around, their limbs flailing as Young delivered punch after punch. His curled fist rocked against Samuel’s skull repeatedly. Bam. Boom. Pow. It was like a fucking comic book in Young’s living room. I watched in stunned silence as my brother’s ex-lover scrunched his face up in fury.

This felt like a bittersweet victory for me. I’d been craving retribution since I arrived in New York, and each punishing thud of skin on skin, the cracking of bones, and the sight of blood should have stirred something within me, but it didn’t. It wasn’t until Samuel was limp on the floor that I realized no amount of revenge would ever bring my brother back.

He’d never come back.

No one ever believed me.

No one ever believed me.

No one ever cared.

Young stood up and wiped the corner of his bleeding mouth with the back of his hand. I watched the rise and fall of his chest, and the way his pulse pounded in the vein in his neck. “I will end you,” Young promised. “You think you’re invincible, but you’re not. I hope you enjoy graduation, Samuel. Because you’ll be spending the rest of your life running from me. I’m going to let you walk the stage because you’veearned it.I’ll let your family take photos of your battered face while you clutch your diploma. Then I’m going to ruin you. Ruin your family’s reputation. Ruin your trust fund. Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I loved William, and I gave him up so you could attend this school. I hope it was worth it.” Young spat at the ground and walked over to me, wrapping his body around mine as he shook from the adrenaline.

Samuel groaned as he pulled himself up. “Nathaniel, please,” he begged. It should have brought me some sort of joy to see him in that state, but it didn’t. “Please.”

“Get the fuck out of my house. I don’t even know why you’re here. Figures you’d sneak in while I was asleep. Enjoy your freedom while you can.”

I was still speechless, still stuck in the reality that nothing would ever change.

Young looked like me.

He was acting like me.

The only difference between the two of us was that he would actually be able to do something, whereas I was just a broken cog in a deflated wheel.

Young clutched me tighter while giving Samuel his back. My arms were like limp noodles, carelessly holding on to the angry man squeezing me. “Get your ass in my bed, Octavia,” Young purred before dipping his hand lower to grab my ass. I winced at the harsh squeeze.

“Did revenge turn you on, Nathaniel?” I asked, using his real name because the man before me wasn’t Young. He was a version of myself that I didn’t like or recognize. I knew the consequences of revenge.

“I want to feel nothing, Octavia.” The door slammed shut, indicating that Samuel was gone. Young’s burning words felt familiar yet crushing. Was this how Noah felt? Did he die a little when he saw me clutch my vendetta in my fist? What was wrong with me? It was like the snapping of a twig. One second I felt solid and in control of my life, and the next I felt empty.

“What about Renon?” I asked.

“That was yesterday. Today you’re mine.”

I swallowed. “And tomorrow? Who will I belong to tomorrow, Young?” He gnawed on his lip, debating on how to answer.

“You’ll belong to whoever you want.”

Tomorrow, I wanted to belong to the ground.

“You sure we should just let him walk away?” I asked while shifting on my feet. What had happened to me? It was like the broken pieces of me were on revolt, scattering around the penthouse and making their fire inaccessible. What once was a blazing inferno was now just a candle at the end of its wick.

“He won’t go anywhere. His parents won’t let him miss graduation, and even if he tried to run, I’ll hunt him down. I don’t know if you realize this, but I’m kind of richer than God,” he deadpanned. Oh I knew. I knew how rich and influential and powerful he was. I’d studied and resented him long enough to know just how capable he was. “Let’s get in my bed, Octavia,” he growled deeper, his hardening cock jolting against my stomach.

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