Page 20 of Tears and Other Fears

He grabbed my waist and shoved me to the floor. I fell so hard I saw stars but kept my eyes on him. Pinning me down with his body, I writhed like a snake, making it difficult to keep me still. No one was ever good at keeping me in one place. I was a constant moving target. He bent over and bit my lip, forcing blood to pool in my mouth. Reaching up, I dug my sharp nails into his cheek. Leaving scratch marks on someone’s back was for pussies. I wanted the whole world to see that Renon survived my wrath.

We wrestled on the ground, each of us gaining the upper hand as his jacket was ripped and pants were stripped. His shirt was nothing but fabric on the floor. My panties disappeared after I slapped his head away from my cunt. I wasn’t going to let him taste me just yet. “Fuck, you’re hot,” he croaked when I shoved him and bit his collarbone while stroking his cock. “Fire, Octavia. You’re fire.”

“Stop talking,” I demanded before wrapping my fingers around his shaft and poising my poison lips at the head of his cock. “If you move, I’ll stop. If you make a sound, I’ll stop. Got it?”

“Fuck,” he groaned. I removed my hand, and he whimpered. He fucking whimpered. “Okay, okay. I’ll be quiet.” His cooperation was perfection.

I parted my lips and sunk onto his cock, letting the taste of his precum coat my tongue. Moving up and down, I stopped every time his thigh twitched, every time a gasp escaped his chest. Every moan, every grunt, I stopped worshipping his cock. It was the kind of torture I loved; conditioning him to be at my mercy was just the sort of outlet I needed.

Before, I’d let Samuel Smith blind me with raw power, but I preferred this. Renon was gifting me with something far more valuable—control.

“I can’t do this anymore,” Renon said. I took his throbbing dick out of my mouth with a pop and smiled at him.

“Weak.”

“Tease.”

And then we were on each other again. He tugged at the hair on my scalp, yanking me back as I got on my knees. His palm pressed at the center of my shoulders, forcing my hands to land on the floor. I was on all fours when I heard the distinct sound of a condom wrapper opening.

Then, there was no warning. No gentle easing of his cock in my cunt. No, Renon fucked like he lived: hard, fast, and without regrets. Slamming in and out of me, I felt my bones shake with the intensity of his movements. He gripped my hair as he fucked me raw, his body smacking against mine and echoing around Samuel Smith’s room.

We were depraved and violent. Harsh but healing. His body and mine didn’t fit just right or dance in synchronistic moves. We forced two incompatible souls together and got drunk off the wrongness of it.

“You better not be holding back, Renon,” I rasped when he wrapped his hand around to rub my clit with his fingers. He teased with harsh, uneven circles that had no rhyme or pattern or beat. My reluctant orgasm tore out of me. It was a small one—the pleasure barely rocked my world—but I felt that familiar buzzing in my body and welcomed it home like a prisoner of war.

“That’s one,” he grunted.

“That was half of one,” I teased menacingly. Renon was full of himself and needed to be taken down a peg.

In an instant, he flipped me over on my back and cupped my neck, peering into my eyes as he squeezed. “Half of one, huh?” he asked, pride draining out of his body. I saw the anger burning there and knew it pissed him off to be put down.

“Don’t worry, Renon. I’ll give you another chance to make me come,” I teased before wrapping my legs around his waist and arching my back. “Now this time, fuck me like you fucking mean it.” I then wrapped my hand around his wrist, wordlessly telling him what I wanted. I desired that intensity between life and death. I wanted my vision to blur and his hand to squeeze until I couldn’t feel the agony in my soul anymore. He happily obliged.

He squeezed so I couldn’t breathe, but it felt like the first time in forever that my lungs were functioning properly. Maybe that was how they were supposed to feel—deprived and demanding. He slid inside of me, this time slow and firm, moving so teasingly slowly that I wanted to beg for more but couldn’t.

He lessened the pressure around my neck, and I slowly breathed in air. I didn’t gasp. I forced my lungs to wait until I was damn well ready to give them the life they craved. His lips grazed my ear as his low tenor voice spoke. “Give me a whisper, Octavia,” he moaned.

“Give me a reason, Renon.”

He moved faster and faster, invading that sweet spot inside of me that was rolling towards another orgasm. I knew this one would be harder and longer. I knew it would make my toes curl and my body thrash. I just had to get there first.

And then the door opened, revealing a tormented Young. His face dipped in a sadness so tangible, so shattering that I came on the spot. My body found nirvana in Young’s stare. It was one of those life-altering moments where you felt so much so suddenly that your nerves coiled and uncoiled, and your stomach dropped. My muscles clenched and unclenched as they squeezed Renon’s cock. My little drug dealer came as a whisper escaped my lips, so low only he could hear.

Perfect.

Chapter 12

“Why, Octavia?”Young asked as Renon gathered his clothes. His clothes were torn and buttons on his shirt were missing, but he managed to get dressed enough to be covered. I still stood buck ass naked in Samuel Smith’s room, staring at Young as satisfaction seeped through my body, blanketing me with a sort of comfort I didn’t deserve.

“Because I could. Because Renon owed me. I mean it wasn’t a seventy thousand dollar orgasm, but it will do.”

Young shook his head in confusion. “Seventy thousand dollars? What does that even mean?”

Renon answered for me, waving his check in the air like it was a prized trophy. “Octavia got the Smiths to pay Samuel’s debt. My employers are going to be very happy. You should totally consider being a debt collector, Octavia. You’re way more efficient than most of the meat heads on my payroll.”

I rolled my eyes before brushing my finger over the bruise forming just above my nipple. “Wait, what? The Smiths paid you?” Young asked before stalking over to Renon to stare at the check in his hands. His dark eyes took in the scribbled amount, and I watched his shoulders slump.

“Fuck!” he roared while scrubbing his hands down his face. “He really…”

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