Page 23 of Lies and Other Drugs

"We’ll be in touch, Octavia," Liam finally replied before the line went dead. For a moment, I debated on calling them back. I wanted to call them out on their bullshit. I wanted to scream that William’s body was still cold. A year wasn't enough time. The lies were still too fresh. But the truth was, they wouldn't care. My mother was too self-absorbed to see that everything was a cover-up. She wanted to blame herself for William's death because the idea that she influenced him made her feel good. Evenifit was that influence that brought him to an early grave. She was selfish like that.

I kept walking, the rage that was boiling within me making my chest heave. Sweat broke out on the back of my neck, and I almost forgot where I was going. That strange urge to run once again filled my veins. The fire in my veins was the only thing keeping my pulse. I was certain that if I stopped, I would fail. Failure simply wasn't an option.

When I arrived at the cafe, I took a moment outside to compose myself. I clenched and unclenched my fists probably fifty times. And I peered in the window, staring at Young for a moment as he sat there. On the surface, he looked calm and composed, but I wondered if he ever felt like I did. I wondered if he ever wanted to ruin what ruined my brother. I wondered if he had the capacity to hate.

And then his eyes flashed to mine, and I saw the evidence of his anger reflected in his eyes through the tinted glass. Nathaniel Youngblood did, in fact, have the ability to hate, and he hated me. Young looked like a predator sitting in the dark cafe. It was late afternoon, and the sun was beginning to set, making the cafe take on a moodier vibe than before.

I walked inside and stood by his table. "Hey," I said.

"Sit down," he ordered. It was that tone of voice that both made me want to purr and do the complete opposite of what he said. He avoided my gaze, opting to look out the window. He was wearing a relaxed grey shirt and jeans. Normally, I would argue with such a crass demand, but I sat down because my feet were killing me, and I hadn't eaten all day. Priorities.

"Why did it take you so long to respond to my text?" he asked.

"I was arrested."

Young took in a deep breath, testing his patience as his lungs expanded. I tried to picture the guy Samuel spoke of, the selfless friend that broke into a professor's office. The one fucking a married woman to keep them both enrolled in this pretentious school. Did he take care of William? I had it all wrong, he and I were alike. Young shook his head and looked around, as if half expecting someone to walk in the cafe and spy on him. What was wrong with this woman that he feared her?

"So she's the reason you kept William a secret? Didn't want a jealous lover on your hands, kicking you out of your stupid little school?" I asked, my voice gradually growing louder with each syllable.

"You shouldn't have talked to Samuel. He already feels like shit for all of this," Young said while pulling a flask from his coat pocket and putting it up to his lips, gulping down whatever liquid was in it with a hiss and a wince. The scent of alcohol was strong, making me think that he’d spent all day indulging.

I had an inkling of what happened a year ago. I was just a confirmation away. "You worried he's gonna go off the deep end?"

"Fuck, Tav. You’re an insensitive fucker. Why?"

"Why what? State the obvious? When you told me that you killed my brother, you genuinely thought you did, didn't you? You thought he killed himself out of some fucked up love for you?" With white knuckles, he gripped the table, muscles flexed as his plump lip trembled. "You don't deserve relief, but I'm going to give it to you anyways. You should have said fuck this school, fuck her, and picked William. Because if you loved him half as much as you say you did, your duty to Samuel and to your pride wouldn't have mattered."

A group of students walked by, eyeing us and whispering. Guess his little meeting spot wasn't sacred anymore. Good. "But here's a secret for you. My brother didn't kill himself. Did you know that our mother's an addict? She's struggled with pills her whole life. William didn't kill himself, because we made a promise to one another to never go out that way. No matter how much it hurt. No matter how tempting it was. William would haveneverbetrayed me like that."

Young closed his eyes and sighed. "Tav," he began, "people break promises all the time."

"Not William. Not us."

He could question my faith in William all he wanted. I knew it. He was my twin, we were connected in that innate way that science and fate and reason couldn't explain. I knew him as I knew myself. William did not commit suicide.

"So what are you saying? That someone did it? They arrested his dealer, Tav," Youngblood said while looking out of the window.

I stood up, not wanting to talk with him any longer. What use was a man determined to be a martyr? I needed someone that wanted to find the truth, not linger in his self-hatred because it was easier. "I'll talk to you later," I said.

"We're not done talking, Tav," he said. I made my way outside, walking towards the hotel Noah was staying at when a hand grabbed my elbow. The vendors were coming out again, selling umbrellas in that pushy way they liked to do. We stopped on the busy sidewalk to stare at each other.

"Let's go back to the apartment," he said.

"I don't wantto go back there." A man with grey hair and curious eyes stared at us, giving me the look of someone silently asking if I needed a friendly face to intervene. I drew my eyes back to Young when the first raindrop fell.

"William didn't kill himself. The real culprit is right in front of you. Use that pretty little brain you're paying a shit ton to cultivate!" I screamed, my voice echoing off the street buildings and blending in with the thunder overhead.

Nathaniel cupped my cheeks in his hands, leaning forward to kiss my lips as the rain poured down around us, pedestrians scurrying past to avoid getting wet while we let it drench us to the bone. "Tav, I hate how much you and he are alike," he whispered before kissing me again. Despite the cool April rain, there was a fiery sizzle of arousal in the air. The hardness of his body pressed against mine was the only solid thing in my life at that moment.

I broke away as his statement became clear to me. "Why?" I asked.

"Because it makes wanting you feel wrong," he whispered.

“Don’t you know, Young? With us, everything is wrong.”

Chapter 14

Noah was pacing the hotel room when I got back. I was tired, my lips swollen, eyes bloodshot. My phone was dead, my patience spread thin. I was a shallow echo of nerves, just waiting to lash out at someone. "I found William's killer. Nathaniel has a jealous lover," I said with numb certainty. Young didn't want to see what was in front of him, but I sure as fuck did. The woman in the alley was responsible for my twin's murder, and I wanted nothing more than to make her pay.

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