Page 17 of Biker

It’ll take some time, but I’ll prove it to her.

CHAPTER 8

McKENZIE

I look across the clubhouse, amidst the party going on around me in the way only the DSMC can party, and I smile. I feel good about where I am right now. I feel secure. The property cut Porter gave me tonight, which is currently wrapped around me, and the celebration happening to honor my place within the DSMC is proof.

I know where I stand with Porter and the future looks bright.

I didn’t think this was what I would find when I came to Seattle. I figured I’d enjoy my job and I’d make some friends, but I didn’t have any more expectations than that.

Then I found that little black card and everything changed because I took a chance.

I can’t imagine my future without Porter in it now. He’s everything I wanted in a man but didn’t think existed. It’s not just because of the way he looks, but also his capacity for compassion and the way he’s able to meet my needs and his own.

After he took me to the lookout a few weeks ago, I realized I was holding him at a distance, even while my heart ached to hold him close. I’ve never shared my darkest secret with a man I’ve been dating, it just never seemed like it mattered because I knew it wasn’t going to last. If it wasn’t going anywhere, why be vulnerable?

I knew it was different with Porter. I could tell myself it was a bit of fun, but I knew it was much more than that. Because of the way I get lost in his eyes. Because of the way he makes me feel cherished and seen.

I knew.

I was just scared and telling myself it was only fun was a way to protect myself from the reality of falling for him and having him walk away when I told him the reality that I was scared to face myself.

I always thought, growing up, being a mom was something that would happen. One day. Way out there in the future. Then, finding out it wouldn’t happen for me made me question my worth and value. I didn’t want it to. I told myself there are lots of women who can’t have children and I believe they each have value. It was hard to look at myself and feel the same way.

I was mad for a long time. Mad at my body. Mad because the choice was taken away from me.

I didn’t mean to tell Porter so indelicately, but it just came out. He needed to know the truth before there was no turning back, even though the fact he claimed me in church meant it had already gone much farther than I realized.

I didn’t want to hold him back once I told him the truth. I was prepared for his anger. I braced for him to break my heart.

He didn’t.

He held me close and told me that, if it’s what we want, then we’ll find a way. I believe him too. For the first time since I found out pregnancy wasn’t something in the cards for me, I don’t feel like I’m being held back. It’s giving me more options.

I don’t need biology to be a family.

The men around me, laughing, smiling, and giving each other shit, are proof that family doesn’t have to have anything to do with blood. It’s the feeling. It’s the comfort. It’s the love and the loyalty.

Demon, one of the club’s enforcers, throws his arm around my shoulders as he walks up with Nero who has a drink for me. I chuckle when Nero winks at me. I take a sip of the Manhattan, this time made by Ashton, the newest prospect and the one behind the bar tonight.

“Definitely not as good as yours,” I tell Nero honestly, almost cringing. I sigh and give him some sass, “You know I’m really fine with a beer.”

“You’re too much of a lady for a beer,” Demon razzes me and I stick my tongue out at him which has him tipping his head back and barking out a laugh.

Porter looks my way and smiles when he sees me talking to his brothers. He’s playing a game of pool with Penance, which is fine with me. I don’t need a private cut wearing bodyguard. I’m comfortable around these men and I know any of them would protect me with their lives. I don’t question it at all.

I also know Porter trusts me.

If we were out somewhere and not surrounded by his brothers and some random guy tried to touch me, I have no doubt he’d want to rip the guy’s arms off for doing it, but here he can relax. The trust these men have in each other is something worth marveling at. It is borne of so much more than leather and chrome.

It’s deep rooted in their souls and the tendrils of it wrap around everyone considered to be part of the family.

Demon opens his mouth, but before he can say anything, Cherry is standing in front of me so close that I can taste the alcohol on her breath. She sneers at me, her eyes looking over me and zeroing in on where Demon has his hand resting on my shoulder.

Her words are slurred, “Look at you. Do you have no shame? You come in here, steal my man, and then try to act better than me.” Her eyes narrow to slits and I see the way Nero stands at his full height as Demon’s fingers flex on my shoulder and Porter tosses his pool cue to the table and starts to stride across the room. “You’re no fucking better than the angels. How many brothers have you spread your legs for?”

My eyebrows shoot up and Nero’s voice is an ice-cold threat, “Cherry. Watch yourself.”

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