Page 69 of Beyond Rosy Irish Twilight

Patrick pressed his hand to my shoulder, as if he thought I would storm down there and cause trouble. But I couldn’t. I was frozen in place as betrayal sliced through me. It was bad enough what my father did, but knowing Asher could believe I had anything to do with what happened to us cut me deep.

I held my breath as they continued to talk, too ashamed and terrified to make a noise. There was no way for me to explain myself, to make Asher understand. Our relationship was balancing on this delicate rock that could crumble beneath us at any moment.

They traded shots back and forth for a few more minutes before Asher basically told my father to get the fuck out. I pressed my back to the wall, not wanting him to see me on the way out. As his footsteps passed, I finally felt a small amount of relief rush through my body, but this was far from over. I stormed down the stairs with way more gumption than I actually felt. Patrick was right on my heels, and I wasn’t sure if that was to keep me in line or to have my back. I wasn’t sure it mattered at this point.

“You think I betrayed you?” I shouted at him.

Asher slowly turned from his spot at the sink and eyed me warily. “Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to listen to other people’s conversations?”

“So, all of this…the pretending to care about me, you really just wanted to get close to me to pick my brain.”

“I didn’t say that.”

I scoffed at him. “You didn’t have to. You don’t know what really happened!”

“And you’re not doing anything to defend yourself. Why is that?”

“Asher,” Patrick warned from behind me. But he didn’t need to get involved in this.

“You know, I thought for just a moment that something was starting to connect with us. I thought we were making progress.”

“And that won’t really happen unless you’re honest with me,” he shot back.

“Like I could ever trust you. You just told my father you didn’t trust me!”

And there was no way I was telling him what really happened. He would use that information against me as a weapon. I wouldn’t be able to do anything to defend myself against him.

“It can’t have been that bad, or you wouldn’t be standing here.”

“That’s exactly why I’m standing here,” I spat. “Don’t you get it? I’m his bargaining chip! The only reason he kept me around was to use me for a deal. You’re the deal, and he wouldn’t even tell you what really happened. What does that say about you?”

“It says he doesn’t trust me with his business, just as I don’t trust him. That’s not unusual in our line of work.”

When he said things likeour line of work,it reminded me that he was very much a criminal just like my father. He would never understand what happened or why I did it. He would see it as the ultimate betrayal, and his punishment might be even worse. Because after he found out, he would suspect anything that went wrong in his business was an act of war from me.

Even Patrick, I suspected, was only here to be Asher’s eyes and ears. All those days he spent with me were to gain my trust, to make me feel comfortable around him. But that would never happen now. I had allowed myself to be lulled into a sense of safety around these men, but if anything, they were even more dangerous than my father. They played games to get what they wanted. At least I knew what to expect from my father.

I couldn’t stay here for another minute, not under the threat of constant danger from those directly around me. “I need a car.”

“What?” Asher asked. “You’re not going anywhere. You remember getting attacked just days ago, right?”

It didn’t matter. I lived that day over and over again in my head. Whether it happened here or sometime in the future, I was living on borrowed time. I just wanted to escape for the day and not feel like a prisoner in my own home.

“I’m leaving.”

“No, you’re fucking not,” Asher growled. “This is the only place I can keep you safe.”

“And why would you want to do that? Your life would be so less complicated without a snitch in the house.”

I could tell my words were getting to him by the way his eyes grew darker. But somehow, I didn’t feel like I was in danger. “I only said that to goad your father.”

“You said it because part of you believes it’s true. You can’t trust me and you never will. The problem is, we come from the same life. We both know how this ends. Someone is going to die, and you’d rather it not be you.”

“I would rather it not be either of us!” he snapped. “You’re not going anywhere! The minute you leave this property, you’re a target. I can’t keep you safe, not until we find out who was after us. If you try and step off this property, I’ll just drag you back here, and you won’t like the consequences.”

“I can guarantee you, whatever you have in mind, I’ve already had worse.”

Something shifted in his demeanor, almost like he was sorry to hear that. It didn’t make sense. He was threatening me one minute and sad for me the next. I didn’t understand what was happening between us. I vaguely remembered him holding me in the night through my bad dreams. I couldn’t have imagined that level of comfort from him. But then how could he turn around and threaten me? None of this made sense.

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