Page 56 of Beyond Rosy Irish Twilight

“You walked into the bathroom and peed,” I said, my voice growing stronger with every word spoken. “You could have knocked.”

I could feel his hesitation to leave. He wanted to check on me, but if he did that, I would break down. I knew it. I wasn’t strong enough to keep up this facade for too much longer.

“Don’t take too long,” he said. Then I heard the door close and I finally unclenched my fingers from the shower curtain. I blew out the breath I had been holding and forced myself through the motions of taking a shower. I washed my hair, scrubbing every last inch of my scalp. I felt dirty everywhere. Then I grabbed the washcloth off the towel bar just outside the shower and filled it with way too much body cleanser.

But the moment the rag touched my skin, a wailing noise left my mouth and I started scrubbing like my life depended on it. I could feel their hands on me, grabbing me and holding me down. I felt the cold air hit my ass as he pulled my pants down. The past was colliding with the present until I didn’t know how to sort it out in my head.

I shut off the water and leaned against the shower wall, panting hard. I stifled a sob, wishing I could make it all go away. “Please,” I whispered. “Just stop.”

I sucked in a ragged breath and rubbed at the ache in my chest, but it wouldn’t go away. It would never go away, and I had to find a way to deal with it, or the pain would consume me. I sucked back my tears and wiped at my eyes. I couldn’t go out there looking like the mess I was or Patrick would never leave me alone.

I tore open the shower curtain and stepped out, grabbing the towel off the bar. The mirror was hardly fogged since the water wasn’t hot. It taunted me, urging me to look into its depths and see the broken woman staring back. More than anything, I needed to know just how haunted I looked. Gathering all the courage that remained inside, I lifted my eyes until I was staring at the lifeless eyes of the woman I hardly recognized anymore.

The sunken eyes that stared back at me looked more like a ghost than a woman that survived a massive shooting. I smeared the moisture across the mirror and flung the door open, hobbling out into the room. I could feel Patrick’s eyes on me as I crossed the room, but I gave away nothing. I assumed my clothes were waiting for me in the closet or in the dresser. After flinging open several drawers, I found what I was looking for and marched back into the bathroom to get dressed.

When I came out, Patrick was still lounging on the bed and Asher was still out of it.

“Lock gave him another dose because he wouldn’t get any sleep.”

“Why?”

He looked at me funny. “Because he was worried about you.”

I pursed my lips and looked around the room. It felt like it was closing in on me. The walls taunted me just like that motel room, telling me I could never leave. I glanced at the windows and walked over, looking into the back yard. There was a pool with a lounge area, and guards were posted around the border. I would be able to breathe out there, to not feel trapped in this house. But at the same time, there were men surrounding me, protecting me. I just had to take that step toward the door and open it.

I licked my lips and glanced at the bedroom door. It was closed. If I walked over there and turned the knob, I could walk out of here. “Did you catch whoever attacked us?” I asked Patrick, my eyes still locked on the door.

“Not yet. Lock is working on it.”

At that, I turned to face him. “He was the one that got me out of the motel.”

He nodded.

“How do you know him? How can you be sure you can trust him?”

His eyes narrowed slightly, but not in anger. It was more like he was considering his answer very carefully. “He’s former military.”

That was all he said, as if that made him someone I should trust.

“And he’s looking for these men?”

He gave a tight nod, almost like he was angry at himself for not being able to get up and do it himself.

“So…it’s safe to go outside.”

“Yes.”

I took a deep breath and turned back for the door. My hand slowly stretched out until I finally felt the cool metal under my fingers. With a deep breath, I turned the knob and stepped out of the cage I had been in for the last few days. After my first steps, I heard Patrick following behind me. I had the distinct feeling he was waiting for me to make the first move. He followed me down the stairs and across the house to the back door.

As I stood there, he cleared his throat. “I’m gonna grab us some breakfast.”

My stomach churned at the thought of putting anything in my mouth. I normally loved coffee or tea, but even that was making my stomach churn.

“Should you be doing that with your shoulder?” I asked.

“That was nothing,” he teased. “Just a small wound.”

My face fell as he joked about one of the most terrifying moments of my life, as if it was no big deal. I felt constantly paralyzed, and he pretended it was just another day in his life. Of course, he wasn’t one of the good guys, so maybe this was perfectly normal for him.

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