Page 117 of Beyond Rosy Irish Twilight

“Jade?” Asher knocked at the door. “We need to leave.”

I stared at the pill bottles for a moment, then shoved them in my purse. I wasn’t sure how else I would get through today. I lowered the veil so Asher couldn’t see my face as I exited the bathroom. He was worried enough about me, hardly leaving my side at all over the past week.

He blamed himself for everything, but in truth, my father started this mess, and it ended appropriately with his death. There was a public funeral for him, one I didn’t attend. His death had been classified as murder because of a home invasion—at least to the public. Asher told me everyone in the underworld thought he had been killed by Marrick, his former employee that had hurt me. The rumors circulated that Marrick came after him to seek revenge.

None of it mattered to me, though.

Asher told me, hoping to make me feel better. He thought we were free now, but I would never be free. I was trapped in this body, in this life that I no longer wanted to be part of. Every second I breathed was torture, and I wasn’t sure how I would even make it through this funeral. I hadn’t gotten out of bed in days. Asher was fine with that, thinking I was recovering from getting shot. The truth was, I didn’t have the will to go on. The only reason I was here today was to pay my respects to the one person I could always count on to love me and be there for me.

“Jade?”

I swallowed hard and opened the door. Asher’s beautiful eyes held mine, searching for any signs that I was better. Little did he know it was all about to end. I hated to put him through this after everything he’d done for me. It was over and he needed to move on with his life.

Asher leaned forward and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me in for a hug. I closed my eyes and relished the warmth of his touch. For days, he held me and brought me comfort as my world fell apart. I breathed in his scent and thanked God for the time I had with him. He was a good man, and even though we didn’t get the ending we wanted, I was grateful to have had him by my side for as long as I did.

“How are you, baby?”

I smiled at him, though I felt anything but happy. I hadn’t spoken in days. The words just wouldn’t come out, and he seemed to understand that no matter how hard he tried, I just couldn’t bring myself to open my mouth and say anything.

He pressed his lips to my veil-covered cheek and sighed heavily. “I wish I could make this better for you.”

But he couldn’t. No one could. He took my ice-cold hand and wrapped it in his warmth, leading me down the stairs and out the door. I moved in a fog, never really knowing where I was going. When we reached her grave, I sat dutifully in the front row and stared at her casket. I didn’t hear a thing the minister said. I didn’t notice anyone that was around.

I glanced up at the blue sky and watched as birds flew overhead. It was the perfect day, and a smile touched my lips for the first time in as long as I could remember. Soon, all the pain would be gone.

44

ASHER

The service was nice and private. The only people here for it were those that could make it from OPS and the men that protected her.

Protected.

Had we really done that? I watched her walk toward the grave and sighed heavily. I failed her so badly. Nothing had turned out how I expected. The last few months had been filled with chaos and destruction. When I took this job, I thought I would be making the world a better place. I never thought I would fall for a woman I was forced to marry, or that this job would so irrevocably change who I was.

“Asher,” Cash said as he stepped forward. “How are you?”

“Ready to get the fuck out of here.”

He nodded, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Take as much time as you need. I’m sure you both need some space.”

I nodded, sighing heavily. Even with my part in this job over, I still felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. I didn’t know how to help Jade. I knew time would make all the difference—that and space from the life she used to live.

“Asher,” Cash continued, “I know this doesn’t make it any better, but you took out an evil man. Whether you think you made a difference or not, Ambrose is gone. That put a huge dent in The Syndicate’s operations.”

“A dent,” I laughed. “But they’ll still find a way to do all the evil shit they do. And I was part of it. I supplied weapons to all of them.”

“For a greater cause,” he interjected.

“Was it?” I shook my head, uncertain of basically everything in my life. “I told myself that when I took the job.” I turned and stared at him. “You know, you were right.”

“About what?”

“I was too green. The Young Squad—that’s what you nicknamed us, right?”

“Asher—”

“It’s the truth. I was so damn cocky, thinking I could walk in there and change the whole fucking world. I thought I would take the job and turn shit around. All I did was fuck it all up.”

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