Page 58 of Grin and Bear It

“Ellie knows,” I confirmed grimly and Cole’s face seemed to shut down entirely, his mouth becoming a thin line. “And no thanks to any of you. You don’t think you could’ve mentioned that over pizza yesterday?”

“I wanted to.” Lin at least had the good grace to look ashamed. “Fuck, how I wanted to. Ellie—”

But I held up a hand. The time for talking was long gone and I was going to be the one doing it going forward.

“Show me,” I demanded.

Nash and Lin looked confused, Cole just stared, his expression not changing for a second, but Tyson nodded. When he got to his feet he seemed to go up, up, up, making his claim to being more than a man seem more credible. He walked over to the edge of the deck and jumped off, landing lightly on the grass. People were talking again, always at the same time. Did no one bother to take turns? But I didn’t focus on them, just Tyson.

He held my gaze as his thumbs pushed under the waistband of his shorts, kept it as he thrust them down. Usually the sight of such a beautiful naked man would’ve caught my attention. He looked like he was carved from stone, made by a master sculptor of hammered bronze, but that’s not what mattered. Because one minute he was there, staring into my eyes and then everything seemed to just… blur and where a man had been standing, a massive brown bear stood.

Fuck…

Part of me hadn’t believed it and, hey, I had good reason. Because nothing in my life had prepared me for the sight of it, of him. My feet moved of their own accord, taking me closer, my hand outstretched. I froze on the spot when he reared up on his back legs, towering over me.

But I wasn’t scared.

I should have been. He was massive, ostensibly a wild animal, as far as I knew. My last encounter with shifters was watching Buffy reruns, so I didn’t know how this shit worked, whether Tyson was in control or the bear was, but I stepped forward. He landed back on his forepaws, scenting the air with his soft brown leather nose before snuffling at my fingers.

Holy fucking Animal Planet, Batman, every thought in my head was shoved aside as I just experienced it. The warm wiggle of his nose and then, when I raised my hand and he stayed still, I smoothed a hand down his muzzle, feeling thick, soft fur. Golden eyes stared into mine, inviting me closer and I accepted, moving in to rub my fingers along his little ears, their teddy-like softness making me smile. I was sinking my fingers into the thick ruff of fur around his neck when Tyson shifted again. Instead of a bear, now I had the man, and my hand was plastered across his chest, forcing me to feel that pulsing warmth, until I snatched my hand away.

“I’ve gotta go,” I said.

“So you’re gonna run.” Cole spoke up finally, fixing me with a hard look before shaking his head. “Fucking figures.”

“Cole—” Lin growled, but I just shook my head.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t…”

I didn’t botherto finish that sentence, rushing out of the backyard and back onto the street, calling an Uber once I got to the corner.

It wasn’t the first time this week that I’d left in a daze after an encounter with a guy, only to find myself sitting in the back of an Uber, but there were no G&Ts this time. Colleen and Dale were waiting for me when I got home, but I just shook my head when they tried to explain, picked up my marking from the table and then slamming my bedroom door shut behind me. I grabbed my laptop, pulling it closer as I heard my best friend call my name through the door, but I ignored it, slipping down, down, down, into the hyperfocused part of my brain that came online sometimes.

Bear shifters, I typed in the search bar and then hit enter.

Chapter29

The weird thing about my body was sometimes I got a good night’s sleep and then was a total mess the next morning, not able to get my shit together to even get out the door. Then there was the other thing.

I’d had little sleep last night, tossing and turning, before pulling out my marking and finishing that, along with half of my report comments, until I got to Maddox’s. I fired off an email to June and my year coordinator, compiling the relevant details of what I’d found out about the boys’ living situation, explaining that they were struggling with adjusting to their parents’ deaths and that alternate arrangements needed to be made for them. I laid down afterwards at something like 3 am, just staring at my ceiling, willing myself to sleep, but unable to, because all I saw was them.

Nash, Tyson, Lin and Cole, even Maddox and Knox. All of them… Tyson’s bear reared up in my mind, over and over, all that power, kept contained for— When my alarm finally went off, it was a relief. I didn’t have to try and pretend to sleep anymore and the day could start, so I got out of bed and jumped into the shower.

The new taps. I turned them on, defiantly looking up at the shower head as water came rushing out. No sputters, no pipes clamouring. It was fixed, but I was…Washing myself, I thought determinedly, grabbing my bright yellow soap with the lovely lemon scent and then going to work.

Afterwards I got dressed, made an extra strong coffee, and while heart palpitations set up in my chest, I made myself some toast when Colleen stumbled out.

“You’re awake,” she croaked, rubbing her eyes.

“Yup.”

“Look, El—”

“Not before school.” I tacked on a smile to soften that, but it wasn’t enough. Colleen winced and I felt a sense of referred pain as a result. “I’ve just got to get through the day. You can talk to me afterwards.”

“Deal,” she said. “Cheap wine and some two minute noodles, just like we used at uni?”

She was trying to make amends and I wasn’t entirely sure why. Like she obviously knew but how could she tell me…? I followed my own advice, shoving that to one side and then focussed on the day ahead.

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