Page 52 of Grin and Bear It

Well, …paint, at least.

“A warm grey so it's not too cold and lots of crisp whites—”

“But it's so bland,” she complained.

“Ah, but that’s where all the cool shit in your house comes into play. You’ve got a lot of colourful vases and knick knacky things,” I said,

“I’ve got a lot of shit, period.”

Fuck, as I watched, she deflated some more. She put her elbow on the table in order to rest her head, like it took too much effort to hold it up herself. I squeezed the hand I was holding, in encouragement.

“Well, that’s okay. We can look at some storage solutions. Lin’s your man for that.”

Fuck, yeah, I could see it now. Me and Lin sorting out her house and then, when it was as beautiful as its owner, we’d lead her into her room… Jesus. I shook my head. I’d been pissed when Lin had made his way over to Ellie’s and now I was just proud of his restraint.

“But if you saw the walls as more of a blank canvas that you could dress up with paintings and other artworks…” She brightened a little at that. “You could swap shit in and out then, bring in more colour or less, depending on how you feel.”

“Not set it all on fire and start again?” She looked tired just at the thought of what would need to be done, and my hand squeezed hers tighter in response. “I’m beginning to feel like that would be easier.”

“Not with us on the job. You can trust our team.” Trust me, I willed her, even though I knew she’d need more time. “We’ll get this done right the first time.”

“OK.” She lifted her head to look at the variations of colour schemes I’d set up on the table. then sipped at her coffee. “Let's go with the grey.”

“If you’re sure—”

“It’ll work to do that colour throughout the house, make it the same everywhere, right?”

I could see what was happening. The more we talked about colours and options and choices, the more overwhelmed she got and, at some point, it got easier to make a blanket decision. I rubbed my thumb over the back of her hand, trying to stroke her tension away.

“We can. If you want to customise the colours for each room, I can sort that too.” The frown got deeper. Not that then, I decoded. “Or you could trust me.”

I was just asking about paint colours, right? But when she looked up at me, I didn’t want it to be. She was strong and capable, I knew that. Anyone who could deal with our nephews when they were being little pricks had to be… and she tackled classes of them every day. I wanted to tell her that I’d rather face down a pack of shifter hunters than walk into a room full of bloody teenagers, but I didn’t. Whereas this shit? Tossing around ideas on paint, colour schemes that worked and made you let a sigh out and relax, rather than pull in a breath in horrified reaction? I could do that without a thought. It was simple for me to imagine her space transformed.

“Trust…?” She snorted at that, obviously because it was too fast, too soon, for words like that to be thrown around, but I couldn’t help myself.

“Yeah. Let me in when you’re at work and I’ll get the place painted, get it looking just dandy for you. Give project management of the job over to me and then you don’t need to worry about making choices.” I shrugged at that, dragging my eyes back down to my coffee. “If you hate the colour scheme, then I’ll repaint it at no cost.”

Other than a kiss. That’s all I really wanted, what I needed from her. For her to come into the house once the job was done and for her eyes to light up, and for her to walk to me and threw her arms around me… I blinked, forcing my focus to come back to Ellie of the here and now, not the fantasy I kept getting caught up in.

“I can’t—” she started to say automatically, and I squeezed her hand tight.

“Don’t say no, not unless itreallymakes you uncomfortable. I don’t… none of us… want you to feel that. But if this would make things easier for you, make your life better or even just give you the satisfaction of ticking a shitty job off your list then…” I stared at her, willing her to feel it, even if it didn’t make sense. “Well, then give the job to us.”

I watched as a war waged behind her eyes, her brow creasing and smoothing, over and over as she tapped her forefinger on the table. Finally she looked up and gave a short laugh.

“Is this like some kind of DIY-flavoured foreplay that the kids are doing now? Because I gotta say, it's very hot.” I grinned along with her. But then her smile faded. “Is that how it works with you guys? You hunt in packs and sweep in and rescue damsels in distress? And then what? Romance them as a foursome?”

Her eyes creased as she stared at me closely.

“We’ve never done that before,” I admitted. “We’ve helped people out plenty, but…” I reached across and took her other hand from where she was still tapping on the table, and pulled both her hands between mine, cradling them there, firm enough to make clear I wanted them to stay right where they were, but soft enough that she could pull away. “But this, this is different. We really need to do this for you, Ellie.”

I wanted her to just accept what I was saying without question, to say yes, yes, yes to letting us care for our mate, and then have her fall into bed with me where I could make her say that all over again.

But that’s not how this shit worked. All the stories I’d heard, growing up, made so much more sense now that I was living it. That low ache in my gut seemed to migrate, settling in my heart as she looked me square in the eye and asked the question I couldn’t answer yet.

“Why?”

Chapter26

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