Page 18 of Grin and Bear It

“OK.”

I couldn’t think of anything else to say, so I stepped out of the room as he went to work and trailed aimlessly through the house until I went back to the kitchen. I put the kettle on, because that’s what Mum always did in an emergency, and set out two mugs, spooning in instant coffee, sugar and milk without really being aware of what I was doing. I was leaning against the kitchen sink, sipping on my partially cooled coffee when Nash reappeared.

“I’ve donethe best I can for tonight,” he said, wiping his hand on a rag, looking pleased with himself, a boyish smile on his face. God almighty, that transformed him, making the hot-o-meter spike dangerously high. “But, yeah, we need to get in and look at what’s causing the issue, pressure-wise. I can bring my guys by tomorrow.”

“I…” I swallowed, then smiled, a little tightly. “I’ll have to pay you. If the school found out that one of the parents of our students was doing free house calls…”

“OK.” He shot me a cheeky smirk then. “We’ll work out something. Mate’s rates, of course.”

I let out an internal sigh at that, hating the relief that came with it.

“Thanks. I want to say no but, seriously, I’d appreciate that.” I nodded to the mug. “I made you a coffee if you’d like one. I know it’s late but…”

He picked it up instantly, taking a sip then making an appreciative sound before taking a big mouthful.

“White with one sugar, just the way I like it.”

When he moved closer to me, mug in hand, I thought he was going to tip the rest out and make his way home, but instead he opened a cupboard.

“Did you want some more sugar?” I asked in confusion.

“Painkillers,” he said, looking in one drawer then another, before pulling out some Panadol. Two pills were popped out and then he went to the fridge and took a bottle of water and handed it to me. “Drink the bottle of water, not coffee.” He plucked the mug from my fingers and poured what was left down the sink. “Take these before you sleep. Your washing is on and that load should be done soon. Chuck it in the dryer and then head to bed.” He winked at me. “You’ve got school tomorrow.”

“Right…”

This was a surreal end to a surreal day, but I found my hand closing around the tablets, feeling the slight warmth of his fingers on them.

“What time do you finish school?” he asked, picking up his toolbox.

“Two thirty? No, it's Friday tomorrow and I don’t teach last lesson, so we try to sneak away at one thirty.”

“I’ll have my guys meet you here at two,” he said. “Sleep well, Ellie.”

Chapter10

"You’re up,” Colleen said, walking in the door the next morning. Boy, was I. I’d slept like a baby after Nash left and then woke up before any of my alarms went off. I’d had a shower and enjoyed better water pressure for some reason, then pulled all my nice clean clothes out of the dryer, pulling on a favourite band tee and jeans. So when she walked through the door, I was dressed, ready and sipping on some coffee as I organised myself, ready to go. “And ready. What—?”

“Shower’s fixed.” I said with a smile, my brain feeling razor sharp and precise right now. I loved these moments so much, when the neurotransmitter planets seemed to align, because when I was functioning, I was amazing. “We had an issue with the laundry taps as well, but that’s been temporarily fixed. There’s some guys coming by this arvo—”

“OK, what in the fucking pod people is this shit?” Coll drew closer, peering at my face with exaggerated concern. “Who the hell are you, and where is my bestie?”

“Right here.” It felt good to say those words, better to say these. “The date was a write off. The dickhead was texting the wrong girl because instead of putting our names in as his contacts, he just had pictures of our tits.”

“That prick—” she hissed.

“So apparently whoever he was meant to be going out with had similar tits to mine, but she was worth going out to a fancy restaurant with and I’m not.” Those words should’ve hurt to say, but somehow they didn’t. I just nodded as Coll’s face fell.

“I fucking knew—”

“I know you did.” I looked at her steadily. “I did too on some level. Things were never going to progress any further than they had and apparently for Derek I was good enough to fuck, but not good enough to be seen in public with.” I shrugged. “I’m not putting up with that shit anymore.”

“Well, damn girl.” She put her hands on my arms and then pulled me in for a hug. I sank into it, hugging her right back. Even with all this newfound certainty, I wanted that familiar comfort. “I’m so fucking glad to hear you say it. You deserve better.”

And there it was, the thing my therapist and I had talked round and round about. I knew it in theory. But putting it into practice? That was so much harder. I nodded then pulled away.

“I’ve gotta go. I want to be in class early and get some marking done so I can get a head start on my report comments. I don’t want to spend the whole weekend working on them.”

“Well, alright.” She watched me move with a smile. “I’m liking this version of you, El, a whole lot.” But then her eagle eyes saw the two mugs sitting on the sink. “So did Dickhead come by to try and beg you to take him back or…?”

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