Page 133 of Grin and Bear It

“Bed with me, more like,” Cole said. “I heard all about you two the other day and I’m pretty sure it's my turn.”

“Ellie’s not a toy to be shared,” Nash piped up from the front and when my eyes cracked open, he smiled rakishly into the rear vision mirror. “Well, not unless she wants to be.”

“Bed with all of you,” I said, feeling like a mother with a horde of squabbling children, shaking my head when I heard the little cheers from each one of them. “To sleep.”

“If all you want to do is sleep when we get to bed, then that’s what we’ll do,” Cole said, but each man stared down at me with a knowing look.

I was tired, wrung out, I wanted to protest, but the longer I spent in the car, surrounded by them, the absolute fucking shit of the day seemed to just fade away.

No, that wasn’t right. It didn’t disappear, it just… lessened. I’d cried my heart out and got messy drunk when Derek mistook me for another set of tits, so the wrecking ball of today should’ve levelled me.

But it didn’t.

It was as though the fact that the pain was shared between us didn’t make it go away, but it broke it down into smaller, more tolerable parts. And that was what allowed me to sit down at the dinner table as Lin proudly brought in a stack of pizzas. That was what let me smile when the boys jumped on the boxes, yanking them close with gusto.

“Hey, you little savages,” Nash growled. “We have a guest.”

“Miss…” Knox started to say, then flushed. “Ellie’s not a guest anymore.” He opened his pizza box and eyed the content with pleasure. “She’s family.”

I blinked at his statement and how it was made so matter-of-factly and I just stared at him, not even registering the pizza box being shoved my way.

“So, you think you can take her for granted like you do us?” Cole started out grumpy, then winked. “Not today, kids. You’re on clean-up duty tonight.”

“What?” Knox spluttered. “No! We’ve had a very hard day—”

“Not as bad as Ellie’s,” Maddox interjected in a quiet voice.

There was a moment of quiet around the table, as if everyone waited to see how I’d respond, but I just smiled.

“I’m OK. Better than OK, really.” I looked around the room, feeling a sense of wellbeing that seemed incongruous after what had happened at the school, but that I was absolutely grateful for. “I’m here with you guys.”

“Still need some pampering,” Cole grumped. “Eat up. I’ve got ideas.”

“Urk!” Both boys made a show of pretending to vomit.

“Fine!” Knox exploded, grabbing his box of pizza, Maddox doing the same. “We’ll clean up. It’s just tossing some pizza boxes out, anyway.”

“And putting all the cups in the dishwasher,” Tyson corrected.

“And putting all the cups in the dishwasher,” Knox repeated back. “But we’re gonna eat in our room.”

“We’re supposed to be having a civilised meal as a family,” Nash growled.

“Yeah, well, can you lot stop simping for Ellie for five seconds?” Knox asked. “Like I get the whole fated mate thing and y’know, good for you and everything, but seeing it?”

“Turns your gut,” Maddox added with a cheeky grin. “And we’re growing boys. We need our food.”

“You’ll need a full stomach for all the painting I’m gonna get you doing tomorrow.” Cole’s eyes narrowed. “You reckon you want more physical exercise to keep control of your bear? I’ll give you a workout and a half.”

I sat back then, just watching the banter around the table, not really catching all the insults being thrown about with gay abandon, just seeing the tension leaving everyone’s body and being replaced by a sense of closeness that had been missing before now. It was there in Cole wrapping his arms around the boys’ shoulders, giving them a rough hug, Lin tossing a balled up paper serviette at them, Nash grinning and Tyson dragging the rest of the pizza boxes closer, as if to protect them from the ravages of teenage boys, the twins making sounds of mock outrage in response.

Yeah, we were a family. I didn’t quite know where I fitted within it, and how it all would work, but I could feel it, that bond. It pulsed, a lot like that sensation that came every time I touched the guys, beating like a second heartbeat in my chest.

“Sitdown with the rest of these idiots for a moment,” Cole said at the end of the meal. The boys had returned to put all the leftovers in the fridge and the clink of glasses going into the dishwasher let me know they were on the job. I settled down onto the soft couch, bodies pressing against mine the moment I did so. Lin snuggled into me conspicuously, grinning until Tyson drew me closer to tuck my head down onto his chest. Something was played on the TV, some sort of footy match, that had Nash, Lin and Tyson discussing something that had happened spiritedly as I just breathed.

“Sport?” Cole looked affronted when he returned, no longer in a paint splattered T-shirt and jeans. He just wore a loose pair of thin cotton shorts and that was it. “You should have something soft and romantic on for Ellie to watch.”

“You don’t like footy?” Nash asked, looking a little stricken.

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