Page 73 of Montana Silence

I was a pendulum.The entire day, I swung back and forth between confidence and nerves. When we stopped by Deja Brew for coffee, I felt great, and both Brynn and Lena wished me luck.

To test Liam’s suspicions, I mentioned where we were going, but she didn’t react in any particular way.

By the time we got to the airport, I was questioning everything again. Now we were in Phoenix and my stomach was settled, but it could turn back any second. Liam was the one keeping the real nerves at bay.

I’m falling in love with you, Mara Greene.

I don’t even think I’m falling anymore. I aminlove with you.

His words echoed on repeat through my head all day. A nice, beautiful thing to hear when I was worried about the testimony in the morning, and I didn’t have to speak for Liam to understand. He knew me now, and I knew him.

We stayed in the same hotel, but this time, there was only one room and one bed for us to share. Anything else was unacceptable. The two of us were a unit. For the first time, I believed it wasn’t going to change.

I am in love with you.

Was I in love with Liam?

My gut said yes, but how did I know? Being in love wasn’t something I planned for or imagined. I trusted Liam. I felt safe with him. He would never hurt me intentionally. But love?

My chest warmed with the word. Love might be the big, intangible thing that pulled me toward him like a magnet. The way my stomach tumbled when he looked at me or when he placed his hand on the small of my back. When he pulled me close in places like the airport simply to make sure I wasn’t brushing up against strangers in a crowd.

Maybe love was looking at him across this hotel room and feeling all the attraction in the world and wanting so much more than his body. I wanted his mind and his heart. I wanted all of him.

“How about room service tonight?” he asked.

It was a sweet gesture, and we both knew the truth of it. Room service meant neither of us had to leave the hotel, and it also meant not letting anyone outside of the hotel know where we were staying.

Even if they met us in the lobby, it was still a risk we didn’t want to take after last time.

Liam came to me, and I tapped him twice on the shoulder. Room service was good. “Let’s look at the menu,” he said, leaving me only long enough to get the menu from the desk.

He ordered a burger, and I had some pasta while we watched a silly sitcom on TV. I rarely watched TV at home. I didn’t have one. I could watch on my laptop, but I never felt like it was needed. But the antics of the characters were distracting in the perfect way.

I could do this, and I knew it. But seeing Malcolm again, and the emotional memory of falling apart, had me on edge.

The show ended, and Liam turned off the TV, taking our dishes and setting them outside in the hallway on the tray before coming back to me.

“Do you have your voice right now?” He sat down next to me again.

“A little.”

He smiled. “Can you talk to me?”

“I’m nervous to see him again.”

“You’re not going to look at him,” Liam said gently. “You’re only going to look at me.”

“I know.” I could only manage a whisper. “But I’m still going to feel him looking at me. I’m still going to remember everything he did and wanted to do.”

Liam reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “What can I do to make it better?”

I scooted toward him on the bed. “I don’t want to think about it,” I said, leaning my forehead on his shoulder. “I know I should probably run through things again, but more than anything, I just want to pretend like it’s not happening. Like we’re at home and going to bed.”

He grinned. “I like it when you sayat home.”

My whole face flushed. I couldn’t believe I was going to move in with him. It felt so right, and I didn’t want anything else. Ever.

Oh my god, Iwasin love with him. There wasn’t any other explanation. Butterflies rioted in my stomach. I leaned forward and kissed him, driven by both my realization and the need not to think about anything but this moment.

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