Page 81 of Montana Freedom

The second feeling that hit me was dread—and then terror. Because this was too late. I should have been telling her every second, because somewhere deep inside, I’d known this and hadn’t let myself realize it.

Phillips dropped out of the van and came to me. “I talked to them, and I owe you an apology, Daniel. I know I’ve been an ass, I don’t deny that, and I can’t promise I’ll be much different now. But Jones was the one driving this thing, and I hopped on board for my own reasons.”

My mouth was opening to ask him what reasons, but he cut me off.

“Those reasons aren’t on the table for discussion. But I never lied to you about how much I want Simon Derine. He needs to go down, and I wanted to be a part of it.”

“You really knew nothing?”

He threw his arms wide. “Jones outranks me. Or, until five minutes ago, he did. He told me using Emma’s name was approved by the judge. He was the one in contact with people at the field office. My contact was basic check-ins and not operational. I’m sure you understand the complexities of hierarchy. It gets so much worse when you’re dealing with things that cross state lines, and I don’t have a stomach for bureaucracy. Clearly, I was happy to let him handle it.

“It was never my intention to harm Emma. Or you. All I want is Simon.”

“Are they going to help?”

He nodded. “They’re calling me back. They’ll do what they can, but Jones fucked us. I’m hoping you guys have some ideas, because I’m not from Montana, and we don’t have the resources we need.”

“We’re working on it. And,” I sighed, shrugging my shoulder and trying to get the muscles to ease for one fucking second. “I owe you an apology, too. You have been an ass, and I let that cloud my judgment. If I hadn’t, maybe we wouldn’t be here.”

His phone rang, and he answered immediately. “Yeah.” He listened. “You’re going to have to try. Because we’re going to lose our best chance at catching Simon Derineandour best witness if we don’t move. You know what happens if he goes underground again? All that information she gave us is useless. He will burn his entire operation to the ground—her included—before he allows himself to be taken. Make your calls, and we’ll work from here.”

Liam appeared with the medication and bandage, making me sit down on the back of the van so he could wrap my shoulder, just where Emma had been sitting earlier today. The thought made my stomach bottom out.

Behind me, Agent Jones was slumped against the wall of the van, handcuffed to the vehicle itself, along with several pieces of tape over his mouth. He was glaring daggers at me, and I simply turned away. Right now, he wasn’t worth my time.

Liam started to bandage me up, and I stood suddenly, moving away from the entrance. “I’m not letting him hear anything.”

“The field office is making calls to law enforcement here and along the route the tracker is taking,” Phillips said. “If we can make an intercept, they’ll do it. It doesn’t solve the problem of us getting to Emma, but it helps.”

Jude handed me my phone. The screen was cracked from when I’d dropped it in the fight, but the screen still worked and the phone was still connected to the tracker. I was glad it was live. It helped me breathe. A little.

Visions of explosions went off in my mind. This was on me.

That was all I could think—this was onme. I’d trusted the wrong person, and I was going to lose all over again. Only this time, it wasn’t going to be faceless captives. It was Emma.

Please. I wasn’t sure who the word was for, God or the universe; I was simply begging. I didn’t think I could live with myself if for the rest of my life I had nightmares about how I’d let her die.

And I would have those nightmares.

Over and over, her beautiful life being snuffed out in front of my eyes because I wasn’t good enough. Wasn’t strong enough. My instincts weren’t honed, or I hadn’t been paying attention.

I recognized the thoughts as a spiral that wasn’t true, but I wasn’t sure I could pull myself out. The little cursor blinked on the screen. Farther, farther, farther away.

Around me they were talking, but I couldn’t listen. All I could do was stare at the screen.

You made the decision with the information you had, like we all do.

Wasn’t that what Emma had said?

With every conversation, Emma had been with me. If she’d thought either of them was working with Simon, she would have said something and she never would have agreed to help, regardless of how many bullets the man put into my body.

I wasn’t the only victim. I wasn’t solely to blame, though every cell in my body was screaming with the guilt. Because making it my fault gave me some control. Knowing I couldn’t have prevented this—the man fooled his own partner, for god’s sake—made it so much worse. It was like being adrift in a riptide with no help in sight and not enough strength to fight it.

“I’ll make the call,” Jude said.

“What?”

Noah looked me up and down. “Local rescue helicopter and fire planes and choppers. We’re going to call and see if we can get one in the air. It’s the only thing fast enough to catch them at that speed.”

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