Page 2 of Montana Freedom

“I’ll be fine, I’m sure,” he said. “Just feeling a little lost at the moment.”

“Anything you need to talk about?”

Liam shrugged. “No. Not yet anyway. Thank you for the offer, though. You?”

I couldn’t stop the instinctual grimace, and Liam grinned. “That bad?”

“Yes and no,” I admitted with a sigh. “It’s something I probably shouldn’t be worrying about, and also something I can’tstopthinking about. Someone.”

His eyebrows rose. “Who?” Then he pulled it back. “Sorry, you don’t need to tell me.”

I didn’t blame him for his surprise and curiosity. It wasn’t exactly a secret I kept to myself and lived simply. Not everyone knew the reasons why I chose to stay alone and direct all my intentions outward, nor did they need to. We all knew enough about one another’s trauma to work around what we needed, but we also had a policy of not digging too deep into one another’s pain. We were here for support and help, but not to be assholes. Liam was trying to respect the rule. But at this point? I was going to have to tell someone.

“The woman,” I clarified. “From the night of the Riders raid. The one I let out of the cage who then disappeared.”

Liam’s face shifted in recognition. “Ah. Yeah, I remember.”

Sighing, I shoved my hands into my pockets. “The whole ‘people in cages’ thing, without going too deep for such a nice morning, hits a little close to home for me. And I know she’s probably fine, but no one remembers where she went, and I just want to know she didn’t run away, only to die from her injuries or something worse.”

It was the first time I’d really voiced it out loud. I had no closure where she was concerned. She was a person in trouble, and I’d helped her, but not enough. I hadn’t reallysavedher.

My gut twinged, and I made a note of that thought for my next therapy session. My instincts and drive to save people had been the subject of more than one of those sessions, and it looked like I needed to devote some more attention to that front.

“I keep having nightmares about it. About her calling out for help and not making it. And frankly, it’s gotten a lot worse than I feel it should be. Hence why I’m out here at dawn when my perfectly warm and comfortable bed is waiting.”

“Was it the cage, or was it her?”

I looked at him. “What do you mean?”

Liam shrugged and took a turn back toward the main ranch. I fell in step beside him, and we walked slowly. “You said people in cages was a thing for you. And I get that. It’s awful. But I’m guessing if that’s true, you’ve had nightmares about it before.”

“I have,” I acknowledged.

“So, maybe I’m wrong, I’m not Dr. Rayne…” He grinned. “But if the cages were the part of it that was bothering you, I would think it would amplify the old nightmares. Maybe it wouldn’t be so specific asherreaching out.”

I froze in my tracks for a second. He wasn’t wrong. The nightmares that now haunted me were about saving her, getting to her, erasing the pain in those bicolored eyes. They were all about her. I hadn’t noticed the subtle differences between those things, but then again, that was the beauty of getting an opinion outside your own head.

“And besides,” Liam said, “I was there too. Things were hectic in the aftermath. You did what you needed to do—you got her out of the cage and free. You made sure she was safe before you moved on to your next duty. I know it might not feel like it, but there was nothing else you could have or should have done.”

I’d been told as much by others. If only my mind and my heart would actually listen instead of telling me I hadn’t and there was still work to do.

Find her. The words were like a rhythm in my chest now, along with my pulse. Find her.

But I had no way to do that, and finding her might mean bringing up things she never wanted to relive. I could handle this. I’d handled worse, and living with the constant thrum of wanting to find her would eventually fade into the chaotic backdrop of the many things I was still paying for.

“Thank you,” I said to Liam, not voicing the last bits of my thoughts. It wasn’t that I thought he wouldn’t be sympathetic, but things looked different after another decade of life. I wasn’t as hopeful as I’d once been, and the constant wear of those scars was taking its toll.

Whether the toll was deserved was a question I still wrestled with.

“You going to the opening?” Liam asked, shifting away to a lighter topic. That was more like him, sensing when the mood needed to be lifted.

“I wouldn’t miss it. And I’ll be eager to hear how it goes tonight.”

Garnet Bend’s favorite coffee shop was having a grand reopening today after nearly five months of being closed. Lena Mitchell, the vibrant, spunky owner of the small shop, had been targeted by a man with a grudge, and she had almost died as a result.

She was also our colleague’s girlfriend. And hopefully, after tonight, not just girlfriend but fiancée.

Liam laughed, the sound loud in the quiet morning. “No shot in hell Lena says no.”

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