Page 55 of A Foolish Work Flirtation

“Do you?” He sounds doubtful.

He leans forward and kisses my mouth. “I’ll see you in forty-eight hours.”

“Can we do twenty-four?” I try my best not to sound insecure.

“No. Take advantage of the quiet and figure it out.” He hikes off into the woods without so much as a backward glance.

I watch in disbelief as he continues to disappear into the thick vegetation. After he fully vanishes, I let out the breath I’ve been holding. I can’t believe he left me here.

I didn’t ask where he was spending the night. I start the water maker and gather firewood. When I’m exhausted and hot, I sit on a rock for a few minutes and consider what I should do next. I didn’t ask him if it was safe to swim in the water. But he didn’t caution me against it.

I stand and decide to set up the tent. Unrolling it, I realize it’s not much of a shelter. I look through the other items put in the backpack. There isn’t much.

As the late afternoon sun creates more shadows, I light the fire and walk down to the stream to fish.

I cast the line out into the water. I wish my sisters could see me. They would be surprised. I’m more of a city girl, but I can make this work. I flick away a few mosquitos.

The hardest part of this will be not having enough food. I try not to let my mind wander to my favorite meals. After an hour or more, I give up on catching a fish and return to the fire. It’s getting darker.

Alex didn’t say if the fire should be kept going, or did he? I didn’t ask enough questions.

I stack up some of the wood closer to the tent. It’s too quiet and dark now. I can’t see anything in the woods. I don’t know why people want to do this for an adventure instead of skiing or hiking.

I’d much rather be doing something physical. I smile. There is an observation about me. I want to keep moving.

I add another log to the fire. I feel like throwing something or stomping around the fire. Maybe I should let out a primal scream? I decide against it as it could draw in a wild animal.

Why am I so angry at Alex? The answer comes easily. He shouldn’t have left me here. I close my eyes and take a deep breath.I’m lonely. The idea surprises me.

Back in New York, I don’t spend time by myself. The classroom is a hive of activity. There are always meetings and conferences, and I have a roommate when I go home. I usually hang out with one of my sisters when I’m not working. And I’ll have a niece soon.

Do I want to leave that life? I’m good at teaching, and I love to see my students make progress. But something about that life has me questioning myself. I feel as if I’m always on the outside looking in.

This could be part of learning to be a guide. I have to learn how to be alone. A spider crawls on me, and I flick it away. Standing up, I move closer to the fire.

Instead of pushing it away, I let myself feel the loneliness. There is a heaviness in my chest, and I sit down by the fire. Looking into the night, I see mostly darkness with the stars overhead. I ask myself why am I so lonely? It doesn’t make any sense. I have a full life. I’m never alone.

The thought pops into my head that I’m living for others, not myself.Is that true? I didn’t want to travel to London, but things have felt different after meeting Alex. He’s encouraged me to be less hesitant and take more risks. It has felt good. I don’t hide my thoughts or experiences from him.

A powerful feeling settles over me. I’ll be fine over the next forty-two hours. Maybe a little hungry and in need of a shower, but I’ll be fine.

* * *

I hearAlex walking through the woods before I see him. I smile. I’ve already packed up and removed any trace of being here.

When he catches sight of me, I stand taller but don’t say anything. He moves closer, and I put on my backpack.

“Hello, Immy. Is everything good?” His deep voice energizes me. I’m happy to see him. He is clean-shaven and unbelievably handsome. I don’t know how the guests on his tours can resist him.

I nod. “I have some mosquito bites, and I’m a little hungry, but other than that, I’m fine.”

Taking a deep breath, I let myself fully relax. I feel amazing and accomplished. I survived out here alone, even though the loneliness sometimes felt crushing.

He leans forward and kisses me. I hold onto his arms and press myself into his masculine body.

His hands encircle my waist, and he says, “We need to get a proper meal for you.”

I kiss his neck. “Yes, that would be nice.”

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