Page 94 of Love You From Afar

TWENTY-EIGHT

Skylar

Seconds after Doctor Harris leaves the room, Elliot and his dad appear in the doorway holding plastic grocery bags full of snacks and drinks. Just when I thought my heart had completely hardened to Elliot, the ice cracks a little when my eyes sweep down his lean body, his demeanor in complete disarray.

I’ve lived with Elliot for years. I’ve seen the worst of his mornings and witnessed his sleepless nights, but I’ve never seen him look this disheveled.

I try to remember the last time I saw him in a pair of jeans as I take in the light-washed denim and white t-shirt he’s wearing. His golden hair is unkept, the longer than usual strands trying to decide if they’re curly or straight. Light stubble peppers his jawline, the facial hair looking so foreign on his usually smooth skin. Dark bags rest beneath his hazel eyes, looking like he hasn't slept in days.

Yellow-brown bruises mark the skin around his nose and jaw, a sobering reminder of the betrayal I witnessed only a few days ago. I flinch at the unforgettable memory of watching him fuck a strange woman, completely unaware of my presence. Suddenly, the ice that just melted starts to freeze again, creating a glacial shield around my heart.

My gaze bounces between Elliot and Everett, two brothers, both broken and bruised. Two brothers that I’ve let inside my heart… inside my body. But unlike last time, I know with one hundred percent certainty that I’ve made the right decision as I stare at Everett. He looks almost peaceful as his chest rises and falls with soft breaths.

Completely lost in thoughts of Everett, I’m pulled from my trance as someone clears their throat. Elliot stares at me through downcast eyes, his sorrowful gaze saying so much without words. In one glance, I see more emotions from him than I have in years. I see sadness, regret, agony, and a flash of anger. Anger that looks a lot like wrath and for some reason, I can’t tell if that fury is directed at me or himself.

Claire and Mark quietly watch Elliot watch me. Silence takes over the room as they witness our awkward reunion.

“Sky…” Elliot finally croaks, his voice breaking the deafening silence.

My shoulders stiffen at the sound of his voice.

I can’t do this right now.Not in front of his parents. I need to get out of here. I need some air.

“I’m gonna step outside,” I say under my breath. I turn my head, squeezing Claire’s hand as I flash her a soft smile and stand from my chair. She nods back as if to say, I understand.

I keep my eyes glued to the ground as I walk towards the door, my heart beating against the confines of my chest. Right as I’m about to walk around Elliot, he reaches out and wraps his fingers around my wrist. My gaze darts from where his hand is locked around my arm before I look up to find a pleading expression etched across his face. His brows are pinched together with unnamed emotions as his eyes flicker between mine like a silent plea.

“Please, Skylar,” he whispers.

The sad thing is, I don’t even know what he’s asking for, and I don’t think he does either. There’s nothing to talk about. I have nothing left to give him. And judging by the anguish in his eyes, he knows that what we once had is long gone. He just hasn't allowed himself to accept it.

“Elliot, I need some air. It’s been a long day,” I say calmly. “Please don’t do this right now. Not here,” I whisper, even though I know Claire and Mark can hear every word.

Like a saving grace, Mark chimes in and soothes the tension.

“Son,” he rasps, placing a firm hand on Elliot’s shoulder. “Give her some space. Plus, we haven't had anything to eat or drink in hours. Let’s try to eat something and take a breather before we do any talking. Skylar’s not going anywhere, she’s just going outside to get some air. We aren’t leaving this hospital anytime soon. There will be plenty of time to talk. Okay?” He gives Elliot’s shoulder a light squeeze.

Elliot chews on the inside of his cheek before finally nodding his head.

“Okay,” he mutters. His sweaty hand finally releases my arm. My shoulders deflate with a sigh of relief as I exit the room.

* * *

Forty-five minutes later,I’m sitting on a park bench outside of the hospital, sipping on a much-needed cup of coffee. On my way down here, I stopped at the Starbucks in the lobby and ordered a double shot vanilla latte. I’m pretty sure caffeine is the only thing keeping me alive right now.

As if things couldn’t get worse, Elliot trying to confront me in front of his parents was just the icing on the cake. I know I’m going to have to talk to him at some point, but I just don’t have the energy or the emotional capacity to have that conversation today.

Thick clouds turn the sky to a dull gray as the icy wind blows a frigid chill across my cheeks. I tilt my head to the sky, letting a tiny snowflake fall on the tip of my nose. It melts away the second it hits my warm skin, reminding me of how fragile life is.

I think back to when Everett asked me if I believe that everything happens for a reason. I’ll never know for sure, but if today is fate’s way of teaching me a lesson, then I surrender. I’m waving my red flag because lesson fucking learned. I will never take another day for granted. I will give up an opportunity to tell people that I love them. I will never let fear hold me back, ever again.

I know the doctor said that Everett is going to be okay, but it doesn’t feel real. It won’t feel real until he wakes up. It won’t feel real until I can look into his ocean eyes and tell him that I love him, that I’m not going to waste another second.

I can’t stop thinking about how he’s doing right now, wishing that I could be by his side and watch his every breath until he wakes up. But I need to give his family time. If I were Claire, I would want the privacy of being alone with my husband and son during such a difficult time. I just have to keep telling myself that he’s safe, that he’s going to wake up any minute now.

“Sky…” A deep voice distracts me from my thoughts. A voice I know all too well.

Slowly, I turn my head and look over my shoulder to find Elliot standing less than three feet behind me. He wiggles his fingers at his sides, looking nervous.

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