Page 68 of Love You From Afar

“I thought about making a joke, but decided it probably isn't appropriate for the dinner table.” His full lips turn up in a crooked smile as his throat bobs heavily.

My cheeks flush as soon as I register what he’s referring to. Even though I’ve never um…tasted him, I can’t deny the heat pooling in my core at the thought. Trying my best to act like his dirty thoughts aren’t affecting me, I reach for my unused napkin, rolling it into a ball before tossing it across the table at him. It lands against his chest, floating to his lap like a feather as I take another swig of my wine.

“Do you start every date by making underhanded comments about the taste of your dick?” I scoff, rolling my eyes. “And since when have you ever cared about being appropriate?” I mock.

His eyebrows shoot up as soon as I realize what I just said.Date.I close my eyes, cursing myself for letting that word slip out.

“You’ll never know until you try, right?” He chuckles. “And I didn’t know this was a date, but I’ll take it,” he smirks.

As we casually toss around the word “date”, my mind immediately goes to Elliot like an intrusive thought.

My fork falls from my hand, clinking against the plate as I tuck a lock of hair behind my ear. I can’t help but feel guilty for sitting here with my fian—…ex-fiancé’sbrother, enjoying a nice dinner in a romantic cabin. I can’t help but feel that this entire situation is my fault. A voice inside my head keeps telling me that this is karma, that this is what I deserve for being unfaithful, even if it was short-lived.

Is it wrong to feel furious with Elliot, but not miss him? Honestly, I’m not sure if I ever will. Deep down, I think I’m more upset about the fact that it took me this long to end things between us. I’ve ignored so many red flags, the first one being that I so freely gave my heart to his brother three years ago. I should be heartbroken, completely beside myself, but instead… I’m right where I’ve wanted to be for years.With Everett.

“Skylar…” Everett rushes out. “I was just kidding. I know you didn’t mean it like that—”

“No, I know,” I say, cutting him off. “I was just thinking.” I pick up my fork, forcing myself to take another bite even though I’ve lost my appetite.

“I’m all ears if you want to talk.” His tone is calm, soothing almost. “And I promise to not make any sarcastic comments.” He arches a brow before holding his pinky out to me. I smile, reaching across the table before gently pushing his arm down. Instead of pulling away, I keep my hand resting on top of his. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to the electric currents that rush through my veins at the feel of his skin.

“No need for pinky promises or blood oaths,” I chuckle. “Besides, I quite like your sarcastic comments.”

He lets out a low laugh before turning his hand over and threading his fingers through mine. He brushes his thumb against the back of my hand as his expression softens, his blue eyes darting between mine.

“Talk to me, Sky,” he whispers.

I pull my hand away, inhaling a deep breath as I run my fingers through my loose hair. I reach for my wine, swallowing down a gulp that stings my throat. Is it possible for the alcohol to reach my veins within the next two seconds?Because I need liquid courage.I set the glass down on the table, sliding my fingers up and down the stem before looking up to find Everett’s gaze fixed on me.

“I uh…” I rasp, trying to find the right words. “I guess I’m not really allowing myself to feel sad… or angry… or whatever emotions I should be feeling. Every time I start to feel the sting of betrayal, a voice in my head tells me to stop. It tells me that I’m being a hypocrite.”

“A hypocrite?” He furrows his brows. “Why would you think that?” He narrows his eyes, rubbing his palm against the stubble on his cheek.

“Isn’t it obvious?” I scoff. “How can I be upset with Elliot when I did the same thing to him? Actually, what I did is worse. I’ve kept what happened between us a secret for three years. Not once have I considered coming clean about what we did. He probably thinks I’ve been nothing but faithful, meanwhile, I fucked his own brother.”

“This is completely different and you know it,” he shakes his head. “Besides, how long had you been dating him at the time? Like two weeks?”

“It’s not different, Everett,” I raise my voice. “It doesn't matter if I had been dating him for two weeks or two years, I cheated on him withyou.And that's unforgivable. When I look at it from an outsider’s perspective, it makes me sick. I think about how I would feel if Elliot were to sleep with my sister… I can’t even fathom the thought. Just thinking about it makes me nauseous.”

“Skylar, you’re comparing apples to oranges,” he sighs. “First off, two weeks is a hell of a lot different than three years. You barely knew each other at the time. The entire vacation, he acted like you didn’t exist, ditching you every five minutes and blatantly eye fucking any woman that looked his way.”

Everett shakes his head, running a frustrated hand through his hair before continuing.

“Hell, he still acts like you don’t exist. He conveniently forgot that his fiancé was traveling twelve hours through a winter storm while he decided to screw God knows how many women in that hotel room. You had been dating him for less than a month when we slept together. He was nothing but a fling at the time.Hegot down on one knee, committing to spend the rest of his life with you before jumping into bed with random women. I know cheating is wrong, but this is so much different, Skylar.”

“Everett—” I try to cut in.

“I’m not done yet,” he shakes his head. “From what you’ve told me, you have a great relationship with your sister. I’ve obviously never met her, but I know that she would never betray you like that. You told me she's your best friend, that you can trust her with anything. But you need to understand that has never been the case for me and Elliot. Ever.The one time I decided to trust him, he decided to destroy it.”

His blue eyes flicker between mine with so much sincerity.

“You’re trying to compare two very different relationships, trying to make up a scenario that would never happen in a million years. I’ve never been one to believe in karma or superstitious bullshit, but I do believe that Elliot has brought every negative situation upon himself. You can only shit on people for so long before it starts to come back around. Yes, to the outside world, what we did was wrong and we’ve had to deal with the repercussions for years. But you need to know that you have every right to be upset. You have every right to be furious with him. He’s manipulated you and your emotions for far too long, and that stops now.”

I swallow thickly, darting my eyes away as I blink back unshed tears.

“I thought you were going to listen to me speak?” I scoff.

I’m so tired of crying. I’m exhausted, and if I wasn’t so damn prideful, I would run into Everett’s arms, wrap my arms around his neck and let it all out. I would tell him that he’s right. That he’s been right for years.That it’s always been him.That I’m so sorry for not choosing us. I’m so sorry for wasting so much time.

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