Page 66 of Ruled Out

“How could I not?” I quickly reply. “Maisie, I love him. I know that sounds crazy, but I’m so undeniably in love with him. Trust me, I wish I could just shut it off - but I can’t. He’s everything to me. I’ve had boyfriends, but no one has ever made me feel an ounce of what Knox does. Things are justdifferentwith him.”

“Then you need to talk to him,” she responds without pause. “He’s going to understand, Phoebe. God, I wish I could record the way he looks at you at practice so you could see what’s so blatantly obvious. He tries to hide it, but he can’t. He’s in love with you, Phoebe. I promise you he feels the same way.”

“Why did you never say anything to me before if you knew?” I ask.

“Because I didn’t want to accept the fact that you were lying to me. I wanted to believe it wasn't true,” she says with a sad twist of her lips.

Her expression makes me want to burst into tears again. “Maisie, I really am so sorry.”

“Phoebe, the things I said to you, the way I spoke to you was not okay. I didn’t think before reacting and said so many things I regret. I was upset and angry with you for lying to me, but I had no right to treat my best friend like shit. I’ve been sick over it all week and was planning to talk with you when I got back. I was planning to tell you that I understand why you felt the need to hide this from me. It still hurts, but I get it. I have no fucking idea what I would have done if I was in your position. I just feel bad you’ve been going through this alone. I want you to know that you canalwayscome to me, Pheebs. Always.” She wraps me in a huge hug, and I can tell she’s close to crying too.

“I know, and I feel terrible that I didn’t. I don’t know what I would do without you, Maisie. I really don’t,” I reply, my lips turning up in a soft smile.

“I know, I’m basically the best,” she laughs while dramatically flipping her hair over her shoulder. “So, are you going to talk to Knox?”

I shrug. “I know in my heart that I want him but look at what our relationship has done to the people around us. I lied to you for weeks, trashed my relationship with my uncle. I don’t know, I just feel like we’ve done more harm than good.”

“Corbin loves you, Phoebe. Why do you think he reacted the way he did? He never should have laid a hand on you, but he’s clearly protective over his family. I mean, youarehis only niece. He just cares about you and needs to cool off. Just give it some time, and I promise he’ll come around. The people that really care always do.”

“Yeah… only one can hope,” I reply, unconvinced. “Can you promise me one thing?”

“Depends on what it is,” she laughs and bumps me with her shoulder. “Duh, Pheebs. What is it?”

“Promise me that even if I’m not on the team anymore, we’ll stay friends.”

Her eyebrows furrow at my words. “Phoebe, you’re not going to get kicked off the team. You know I would never say anything, and I don’t see your uncle sabotaging you like that.”

“No, that’s not why I’m saying this. I’m thinking about quitting, Mais,” I admit. “I’m not happy playing anymore. I’ve been living my life for my parents for years and if my relationship with Knox has taught me anything, it’s that it feels so damn good tolive. I feel like I’ve just been going through the motions for years until Knox showed me what it’s like to feel alive. Regardless of what happens with him, I want to start living forme. Not anyone else.”

A sympathetic smile stretches across Maisie’s face, and a barely noticeable tear slides down her cheek.

“I’m so fucking proud of you, Pheebs. There’s a difference between living and being alive. I’m glad you’re choosing you,” she smiles. “Of course, we’ll stay friends. Get out of here with that bullshit,” she scoffs and rolls her eyes, her sass causing both of us to laugh softly.

“Can you promise me one thing in return?” she asks.

“Anything,” I reply.

“If Knox really makes you happy, don’t give him up. Things are going to be messy and hard, but if you really love each other, you’ll figure it out.”

“I promise,” I whisper, wrapping my arms around Maisie’s neck and hugging the shit out of her.

TWENTY-EIGHT

PHOEBE

It’s only been three days since Knox left my apartment, but it feels like it’s been a lifetime. My stomach has been in knots, my brain on overdrive since Corbin showed up at my apartment. I’ve been having a hard time keeping down solid food, only snacking on yogurt or a smoothie when my hunger becomes unbearable. I’ve drifted in and out of sleep the past couple nights, waking up from nightmares of losing Knox more than once. I don’t need to look in the mirror to know that I look like hell.

I’ve been so close to texting him or dialing his number multiple times, but something keeps stopping me. I’m such a structured person, and I just feel like there are so many loose ends to tie up. Knox and I never got the chance to talk about what our plans would be, what the future would look like for us.

Then, there’s Corbin. He sent me a text to let me know he made it home, but I haven't heard from him since. I’m so gutted about how things ended with both Corbin and Knox. Seeing the two people I love the most attack each other in my living room is something I wish I could block out of my brain forever. Even if Knox and I could repair our relationship, wouldtheyever be able to overcome what happened?

Maisie has been nothing short of amazing, a true lifesaver. After we talked for hours, she helped me clean the living room and drank an entire bottle of wine with me. It felt so refreshing to be able to really tell someone the details of my relationship with Knox. After we had one too many glasses of wine, Maisie proceeded to ask me about the size of Knox’s cock. She also asked me if I call him Coach Moore in bed, and that’s when I told her it was time to call it a night. Maisie doesn't have a filter, but that’s one of the many things I love about her. I have no idea how I got so lucky to have her as a friend.

Coral Cove had a cold front come through this morning, so it feels like fall outside for a change. I’m wearing a white, cropped sweater that shows a sliver of my stomach, and black, high waisted jeans paired with ankle boots. My blonde hair is loose, flowing in soft waves down my back. Summer has always been my favorite season, but there’s something about the crisp autumn air paired with a warm cup of coffee that brings me so much joy.

Getting to wear fall clothes, even if just for a day, brings a much-needed smile to my face as I walk to the library on campus. As I make my way across the courtyard, I spot a tall, handsome guy with a full head of golden-brown hair. When he lifts his head from his phone, his blue eyes quickly find mine.

Colin.

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