Page 56 of Ruled Out

Oh, I like the team. Actually, I really like one of my athletes. I really fucking liked making her come last night.

“Knox?” Dad asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Um,” I cough. “Yeah, they’re great. All the girls seem to get along just fine, aside from the occasional college drama.”

“That’s wonderful, bud,” Mom chimes in. “Has Phoebe been able to make it out to any games?”

I almost spit my coffee out at my mom's question. Here goes nothing.

“Um, she…” I choke, trying to relieve the lump in my throat.

“You okay? Hold on, let me ask for a glass of water,” Mom continues and holds a hand up for our waiter.

“No, no, I’m fine. I uh… I’ve been wanting to talk with you guys about something.” Both of their gazes instantly snap to me, taking in my nervous expression.

“What is it, son?” Dad finally asks after we sit in silence for what feels like hours.

I exhale, hanging my head and resting it in my palms.

“Knox, are you okay? What’s wrong? Are you sick?” Mom asks hurriedly, her brows etched together in concern.

“No, it’s not that. I’m perfectly healthy. It’s… it’s about me and Phoebe,” I reply, slowly lifting eyes to meet theirs.

“Oh my…” Mom gasps and slaps her hand over her mouth. “Is she pregnant? Are you going to be a father?” Her eyes start to glass over with tears.

“Are you serious, Mom? No,” I reply without hesitation, running my hands through my hair.

“Knox, I’m your mother. I know you. You run your hands through your hair when something’s wrong. What is going on? You’re worrying me…”

I can’t hold it in any longer. Just say it.

“She’s one of my athletes,” I blurt out, cutting her off mid-sentence. Shocked silence quickly fills the table at my confession.

“Wait...say that again,” Dad responds in disbelief, a confused expression across his face.

“She’s one of the athletes I coach,” I reply in what sounds like a whisper.

“Like a previous athlete?” Dad asks, narrowing his eyes.

“No, she’s on the CCU softball team. I’m her coach,” I clarify, nervously fidgeting with the unused silverware.

“Holy shit…” Dad exhales. “I was not expecting that. I knew she was young, but damn…” He trails off like he’s at a loss for words. “Knox, are you aware of the potential repercussions?”

“Yes, trust me,” I exhale. “We fought it for months. I pushed her away until I couldn't anymore. I never intended for this to happen, ever. I never understood instant attraction until her. You have to believe me when I tell you that we’ve been fighting this for months. I know it’s wrong. I know I’m putting my career in jeopardy. I don’t need a lecture about that. I’ve already beat myself up enough. I’ve had countless sleepless nights worrying about everything that could go wrong, but I’ve also come to the conclusion I would rather risk my career than lose her. I’m falling in love with her.” My declaration comes out rushed, with the last sentences barely a whisper. It’s the first time I’ve said it out loud.

“Oh, Knox,” my mom replies, grabbing a napkin from the table to dab at her eyes.

“I’ve been so worried you would look at me differently, like I’m some creep for falling for one of my athletes. Fuck, just saying it out loud sounds creepy. That’s why I wanted you to meet her before we had this conversation. It’s so easy to forget she’s nineteen and I’m thirty-one. She’s wise beyond her years, caring, down to earth, and so easy to talk to. She just gets me. I’ve never felt so connected to another person.” I hang my head, not wanting to make eye contact and see the shame I know must be in their eyes.

“Of course we don’t look at you differently, Knox,” Mom replies, resting her hands over mine. “I’ve always said, the heart wants what it wants. You do remember Dad and I are ten years apart, right?”

“Yeah, well, we’ve got y’all beat by a couple years,” I scoff.

“Son… I can’t lie and say this isn't a shock, because it is,” Dad deeply exhales. “But I’m not upset with you. How can I be when I’ve never seen you happier? You look at her like she’s the center of your universe. I could never be mad about my son finding his person.” He gives me a soft smile that I’m instantly thankful for.

“Thanks, Dad,” I whisper, lifting my head up. I see concern in their eyes, but also love and understanding.

“Do you have a plan? I don’t want to burst your bubble, but this can’t go on until she graduates. Someone is bound to find out,” Dad asks, his concern evident.

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