Page 15 of Operation: Light Storm

My chest tightens. When did Maddox become so sweet? He’s always doing little, thoughtful things for me and I’ve never truly shown my appreciation. “Thank you,” I whisper.

“Maybe we’ll all chip in and get you some sunflowers, too. That’s your favorite flower, right?”

Where is gruff, pain-in-my-ass Maddox when I need him? This thoughtful Maddox is melting my walls away and making my heart grow three sizes bigger. Just like in the Grinch. I look back down at my chipped nails and a hot tear slides down my cheek. I can’t even answer him because my throat is too thick with emotion.

“Sai?” He reaches a hand out to touch me then hesitates.

“You’re being too nice and I’m p-probably not going to make it to my thirtieth birthday and we’re going to d-die from some horrible virus and my nails are ruined,” I say all at once and a sob rips from my throat.

The moment Maddox pulls me into his arms, I press my face against his hard chest and return his embrace. His hand slides over the back of my head and down my spine, soothing me and holding me closer.

“It’s gonna be okay, Sai,” he whispers, his chin resting lightly on top of my head. “I won’t let anything bad happen to you. I promise.”

I take a few deep breaths, and his cedarwood laced in cherry scent comforts me like nothing else. His heart beats strongly under my cheek and I do my best to compose myself before I pull back. Suddenly, I feel like a weak, foolish girl.

And I hate that.

It’s why I’ve always taken care of myself and I never rely on anyone.

“I’m sorry. I don’t usually ask for help or break down like this,” I admit, swiping a hand across my face to get rid of any lingering wetness on my cheeks.

“It’s okay. I get it.” He runs his hand up and down my arm. “But sometimes it’s okay to ask for help. And we all break down at some point.”

Pulling my knees into my chest, I wrap my arms around my legs. “I’ve never seen you break down.”

His hazel eyes meet mine and I can see the battle in them as he decides whether he should say something or not. “I’ve broken down,” he finally murmurs. “Almost to the point of no return.”

Chapter Six: Maddox

I’m not sure how the conversation took this turn, but my strong, sassy Sailor just fell apart before my eyes and it kinda gutted me. I had no intention of sharing anything about my past, especially when I was captured, with anyone, but if it’s what Sailor needs, I’ll do it.

Honestly, I’d do anything to cheer her up and see the spark back in her pretty blue eyes. Because right now their normal, light blue is tinged by shadows, fear and doubt. And I have a very strong suspicion she needs permission to feel vulnerable in order to feel strong again.

Releasing a low breath, I lean back on my elbows and wonder where to even begin. Sailor is tucked into a little ball of uncertainty, playing with the gold chain around her ankle and waiting for me to share my darkest moment.Dig deep,I tell myself.You can do this.

“I don’t ever talk about…certain things that happened during my Navy career. I joined up when I was 18 because I wasn’t very book smart and never thought college was an option. I also had gotten into some trouble. Anyway, it was always just me and my mom and we never had a lot of money.”

“What kind of trouble?”

“I grew up in a pretty rough area in Boston. Fell in with the wrong crowd and the military was a good exit plan at that point.” I know I’m being evasive, but I don’t think talking about how I used to run wild on the streets and get arrested all the time is a good topic for conversation.

“What happened to your dad? Mine took off before I was born.”

“Mine left when I was three. He cheated on my mom, and when she found out, she kicked his ass to the curb.”

“Good for her,” Sailor says with a decisive nod.

Ah, there’s my little fireball.

“Yeah, she’s strong.” Sailor reminds me a lot of my mom. Eve Maddox is tough as nails. Born and raised in Southie, she doesn’t take shit from anyone. She also has a soft spot reserved for those she loves and growing up, my mom took care of everyone in the neighborhood. “So you joined up to escape?”

I mull over her words for a few seconds. “I’d say that’s pretty accurate.”

“Why the Navy?”

“My neighbor,” I say without hesitation. “I always thought he was wicked cool. Big, tough, lots of guns and nobody messed with him. He told me he’d been a SEAL, so that’s what I wanted to be, too. The moment I turned 18, I walked into the nearest recruiting office and announced I wanted to be a SEAL, even though I had no idea what it meant at the time. I met all the requirements, and it was tough as hell, but I excelled during the initial year of training. At least at the physical stuff.”

“Isn’t it all physical?”

---